All tagged 2.5
Very heavy-handed on the sugary side of the ledger-- affording very little else to come through in the sip. The cookies & cream flavor is somewhat muted and drinks more like a 'candified' chocolate milk-- by that, I mean that it tastes more like chocolate candy than actual chocolate. Texture-wise, there are clumps of goo that float to the top and detract from a smooth drinking experience. I don't like it.
Surprisingly palatable for 1g sugar and 30g protein-- the additional salt and peanut butter flavoring helps quite a bit and feels like 'success' despite a low overall rating compared with average chocolate milk. There's no getting rid of the vitamin-laden, metallic 'twang' that plagues these type of drinks, but at least it attempts to make it more pleasurable on its way down.
You won't believe that this doesn't contain 'coconut' flavor in some capacity. It's an odd flavor, completely devoid of chocolate, but surprisingly pleasant given the low expectations. It drinks a little lighter than its peers, but still has a drying chalkiness that seems to be unavoidable in this tranche. Points for uniqueness and wince-free potability.
An improvement over past iterations, but still lacking heavily in most relevant measures. It drinks a lot more watery than it looks and feels-- and has a pretty restrained flavor (which is better than having a strong, awful flavor). A chalkiness sets in about 4 seconds after the swallow, and it will even spread to your lips if unchecked. In short, not as offensive as I was braced for, but to call it a pleasant surprise would border on hyperbolic.
Strong but fleeting pop of cocoa flavor upfront, but soon degenerates to a drab blandness and acute astringency. It peaks way early, and the undersweetness, while appreciated, doesn't allow for any other quality to rise to prominence. The aftertaste worsens with each passing moment, causing you to scramble around for a cold french fry remnant or any other edible mass to curb the ensuing misery.
Drab, flavorless, and pancake flat; it’s ‘austerity’ in liquid form. Despite a lack of prominent taste, it finishes with a slightly earthy bent, and an annoyingly astringent feel. I’ve had much funkier products, but this one has all the makings of a D+ grade without the excitement of a more abject failure.
Funky fortified-esque flavor, not inconsistent with the Nesquik profile, but a departure from what most would consider to be ‘tasty.’ It’s salty upfront, and drying on the back end, and not enjoyable in between. Drink it for the ‘protein’ if you must, but this is strictly for post-recreation, not for recreation itself.
I was shocked to find that ‘coffee’ was not a primary ingredient— as this tastes much more like a botched hazelnut mocha latte than a liquid Snickers bar. Things only get worse in the aftertaste— best not to have a foretaste.
Unsettlingly girthy and sweet beyond what the law should allow. I peeled off the label and was expecting to see ‘Diabetes in a Jug’ underneath. It’s far too thick and sugary to attempt to discern other flavors and properties, frankly, if you’re past the age of 11, I can’t in good faith recommend.
Nastily thick and un-milky in a way that makes you gulp it in, and then down— likely not as noticeable through its provided straw. The textural gaffes would be excusable if it delivered great flavor— which it certainly does not: strong, unoffensive malt with nary a shard of chocolate.
Painfully bland, unnaturally thick, and sports a syrupy finish that makes you ask “What is it exactly that I’m consuming here?” followed by “…and why continue?”— neither of which I can answer.
Hollow and watery with the trademark Stevia-astringency, which remains remarkably difficult to hide. I’ve had much worse tasting things at this low-50s-calorie-per-100mL tranche, and I can’t deny the impressive attributes (organic, lactose free, gluten free, Fair Trade, high calcium, high(ish) protein)— but the flavor and drinking experience does not compare favorably to your average chocolate milk.
Has that sweet carton-y flavor that plagues many chocolate milks packaged in such a way. Basically, it’s like licking one of those colored greeting card envelopes that has a modicum of sweetness and otherwise industrial paper-like quality. I think I prefer the envelope.
Starchy, thickened, and chalky finish: a ham-fisted attempt to mask its fat deficiency. The flavor is highlighted by a ‘cartony’ note and reinforced with salt (a good move).
The super-chalky and unsatisfying texture is neither enhanced nor salvaged by an equally unsatisfying sugar-laden chocolate-flavored catastrophe.
Unnecessarily thick and has an acidic quality to the flavor that doesn’t pair well with cocoa in this instance. It’s starchy, and doesn’t taste nearly as nice as some of the Lactel concoctions I’ve had in the past.
Tastes exactly how a chocolate scratch-n-sniff sticker smells. There's no salt, and a poorly simulated cocoa flavor that feels like it came from an automotive research lab. The mouthfeel isn’t bad at all, and the flavor, despite having the aforementioned characteristics, could also be worse.
Thick and chalky— akin to the fluid they make you drink before a colonoscopy (so I’ve heard). Drinking this whole bottle may be equally as unpleasant (as the procedure, not the prep fluid).
Tastes like a chocolate popsicle that had been lurking in the back of the freezer for months past its ‘sell-by’ curfew. You know the kind— it’s covered in icy particles, which, due to the lack of other options, you give a cursory brush-off before thrusting the pop into your warm piehole in a vulgar act of misguided desperation. This chocolate milk embodies that experience.
Sweet and dirty, like how you’d expect the mud in Candyland to taste. The texture is more syrupy than milky, and you can tell there’s some fortification therein, particularly in the aftertaste.
