If you haven't had raw chocolate milk, there's no better place to start than at Beyer Farms Dairy in Danville, PA! The flavor, texture, and drinking experience more than live up to its drop-dead gorgeous pre-and-post-shake visuals. This 3rd generation dairy farm has a lot going for it aside from amazing dairy products-- a beautiful on-farm store, a keen eye for detail, and a rapidly growing fanbase (self included). Oh and they have a cat. His name is Sylvan.
With the recent trend of 'zero sugar added' chocolate milk concoctions, I'm somewhat forced to try the two 'leading' brands and provide an honest review. Think of this as a 'slap fight' rather than a heavyweight bout of chocolate milk giants, and while there is a decisive winner here-- we're all losers if we opt for the soulless, mass-produced, cost-reduced, profit-maximized national brands over a local dairy that is concerned about putting out a good product. Or maybe it's just me who's a loser, and I can live with that.
Kuehnert Dairy's Milkhouse in Fort Wayne, Indiana is destination spot with something for everyone-- including, but not limited to delicious chocolate milk in gorgeous glass bottles. And I say bottles with an 's'-- as you'll want to buy multiple of these, whether it's straight chocolate milk or one of their many enticing flavors. I don't always go to Fort Wayne, but when I do (from now on) I'll stop in at the Milkhouse and leave with a cooler-full of local goodness.
What happens when one of the biggest content creators in the world gets into the chocolate milk business? You get MrBeast Feastables chocolate milk-- a protein-fortified, ultra-pasteurized, 100%-Fairtrade cocoa-containing whole chocolate milk, with snazzy branding and tangible, philanthropic goals. So how does it compare to its peer group and the universe of chocolate milk as a whole? I do my best to break it all down here in under 10 minutes.
Western Mass's Pioneer Valley is quickly becoming a must-visit chocolate milk pilgrimage site in the U.S. for its high concentration of top-notch dairy farms pumping out the good stuff. Two (relative) newcomers to the chocolate milk scene are featured here, each with their own unique and memorable products that add to the already great lineup of local dairies across the Bay State. I'm bummed that I didn't have more time to dedicate to these, but very glad that I was able to pick them up regardless.
Well, the long-awaited chocolate milk pilgrimage to Maine is finally here-- a whirlwind trip to review all the chocolate milk the Pine Tree State has to offer-- and are presenting it in Top 10 countdown fashion. Drinking gallons of chocolate milk a day for several days can take its toll, and is somewhat like running your fingers through Patrick Dempsey's* hair while he's giving you a cancer diagnosis-- potentially unhealthy but rather enjoyable. (*He's from Maine.) I grew up here, but still visited lots of places that I had not been to before-- a great mix of novelty and nostalgia-- and a ton of great local chocolate milk along the way.
Long overdue for a pilgrimage to New Hampshire, we squeezed every ounce of delicious chocolate milk from the Granite State that we could, and left no stone unturned in the process. Included in the list are pasteurized and unpasteurized (raw), as well as homogenized and non-homogenized (creamline) milks-- quite the variety for a relatively small state. So in typical countdown fashion, here are the best chocolate milks from New Hampshire.
So how does one review 1,800 chocolate milks? The short answer is "one at a time." The long answer takes about 8 years of dedication and disregard for personal health. Included here is a long-overdue review of BAD Farm chocolate milk, a more recent review of Mapes Farm Fresh chocolate milk (recommended by a 'friend of the show'), and lastly-- a fittingly unique and beautiful chocolate milk from Lanes End Farm Creamery that happened to be review # 1,800.
When northern New England is your spring break location-- you're clearly prioritizing something else over the weather-- and in our case, it was a long-anticipated chocolate milk pilgrimage to Maine and New Hampshire! Soon to come are two full state reviews, filled to the brim with local chocolate milk, and a bit of nostalgia for me as I return to the ol' stompin' grounds. Here's a trailer for a taste of what's coming later this summer-- leave the driving (~1,600 miles) and the weight gain (~7 lbs) to me.
The Keystone State is in a class by itself when it comes to chocolate milk, and even among all the options-- there's the best of the best-- and Linden Creek Dairy chocolate milk is one of the best you'll find. This video is short and relatively sweet-- I didn't want to make it too long, as that would be taking time away from your ability to seek out this delicious, local chocolate milk from Washington County, PA.
