Busting out the ol’ cape and leather loin cloth for this one— it’s remarkable how even after 1,700 chocolate milks, my physique bears shocking resemblance to…

Well, review 1,600 came sooner than expected— thanks to a few impromptu road trips and a couple very generous friends showering* me with novel chocolate milks picked up on their travels. Fortunately, I haven’t actually showered in chocolate milk since…

“It’s the journey, not the destination.” Starting off with a cliché is rather, well, cliché in itself, which perhaps cancels it out. I remember back in late 2016— almost exactly 4 years ago— scanning the street shops and supermarkets of Bilbao for chocolate milk. Occasionally people would ask…

Well it took all of 7 months to capture and review the last 100 chocolate milks— and while the pace may be slowing, the desire is burning hot as ever. Maybe I should get that checked out..

Thirteen hundred different chocolate milks over the course of 882 days works out to be about 1.47 per day— just shy of the doctor-recommended rate of 1.50 (Kevorkian et al., 1991). Half of the last 100 chocolate milks reviewed were courtesy of the great state of Pennsylvania, which has been officially crowned as the World Capital of Chocolate Milk. The next hundred won’t come easily: a reassuring sign that it’s all worthwhile.

Just a mere 500 chocolate milks ago, I was wandering about a cold, misty Tallinn, Estonia in desperate search of anything remotely resembling the sweet brown elixir that has come to occupy my thoughts, fuel my dreams, and assuage my deepest fears. The cliché is true: it feels like yesterday, though so much has happened since.

Let’s face it— ‘eleven hundred’ is not nearly as sexy sounding as an even 1,000, despite being 10% larger, and theoretically more impressive from a counting-stats perspective. Once you cross the 4-figure threshold though, the next legitimate ‘milestone’ seems to be 1,500— it just works that way. I can assure you that 1,500 will be achieved but not without significant amounts of time, effort, and gluttony.

Lon Chaney was the man of 1,000 faces. Dean Malenko was the man of 1,000 holds. I hate to pencil myself in among such elite company, but I also don't plan on stopping at 1,000. There's nothing 'figurative' about the man of 1,000 chocolate milks.

Nine hundred different chocolate milks gathered, sampled, and reviewed in the last 564 days, and 100 (#801-900) in the last 65 days (an average of 1.54 new chocolate milks per day)-- a relatively pedestrian pace compared to the previous few hundred. As a result, I'm better rested, slightly more svelte, and hungrier for a more aggressive pursuit of chocolate milk in the coming swath across the South and into the West!

Eight hundred different chocolate milks gathered, sampled, and reviewed in just under 500 days, and 100 (#701-800) in just a 30 day span (an average of 3.33 new chocolate milks per day). Here's to hoping the pace slows down a bit so I can begin to work solid food back into the rotation.