All in France

Beau & Belle Cocoa

Coarsely chocolaty— the kind that makes you feel like you’ve got a lovely cocoa film on your teeth. The strong chocolate flavor meshes well with its under-sweet base, providing a jolt of flavor that ends with a satisfyingly natural (yet slightly drying) aftertaste. Don’t be fooled by the cutesy package, this is an adult beverage.

Lactel Sporteus Chocolat

Sticky, syrupy feel that is at least congruent with its heavy-handed sweetness. There's definitely chocolate involved (and it doesn't taste bad to be sure), but it’s drowned out in sugariness and feels like you’re drinking candy and not something of animal derivative.

U Lait Chocolat

Creamy, flavorful, and even has a momentary velvety feel, which you may not get through the straw. There's a chalkiness that isn't off putting either-- it seems to serve as more of a confirmation that there’s a microscopic flavorful bit in each sip.

Auchan Dessert à Boire Au Chocolat

Possibly the thickest thing I’ve ever tried to drink. It’s truly like pudding and would be better served in a dish with a spoon. The flavor is not bad at all— it’s very sweet and chocolaty and has an indulgent quality to it-- but as a ‘drink’— I think most people would gag at the viscosity.

Lactel Max Chocolat UHT

Thick and dense, especially for a boxed drink, but also sweet and plenty chocolaty. It’s creamy, but not overly ‘milky’— it feels a little heavy for milk, and the flavor is akin to chocolate candy, albeit good chocolate candy.

Candia Viva Chocolat

Nicely chocolaty with nothing else (texture or flavor-wise) that detracts materially from the experience. The sweetness plays its supporting role rather well, enhancing the cocoa flavor rather than overpowering it.

Paturages Lait Chocolat

Strong cocoa flavor, paired with more-than-ample sweetness and cream to create an indulgent-feeling chocolaty boisson. The texture is a tad on the starchy-feeling side, but overall it’s a very flavorful experience that far exceeds the UHT version.

Nrich Chocolate Milk Drink

Rich, coffee brown in color, super dense feel, and a sweet, unoffensive melted caramel flavor that is milder than you may initially expect. It’s similar in feel and taste to sweetened condensed milk, and does well to hide much of the fortification contained therein.

Candia Baby Croissance 3 Chocolat

Albino/gray milk with nary a hint of sugar, cocoa, or anything else that might taste good. If you’ve ever opened a cup-of-soup envelope and inhaled some of the dust that emanates forth— there's a tiny bit of that sensation in the flavor. Writing anything more would require taking another sip, so I’ll stop here.

Cacolac Bio

Similar to the (non-organic) canned version in that it’s super thin, smooth, and primarily sweet with a somewhat skunky cocoa flavor playing second fiddle. It’s less pronounced in this version, but the watery base nudges this more toward the realm of ‘choco drink’ than ‘chocolate milk.’

Candia Candy Up Cokolada

Sweet and earthy— not my preferred framing of a chocolate milk. It feels inauthentic as a result, and might have you checking if milk is the first ingredient (or if this is one of those water-based chocolate ‘drinks’).