All tagged 2.0

Cheer Fat Free Chocolate Milk

Feels more syrupy than milky— not only texture-wise, but the flavor is also more of an empty sweetness than one of chocolate. It checks the box for the waning populace to whom the phrase ‘fat free’ still holds cachet— but this is yet another example of nonfat chocolate milk attempting to please everyone, whilst effectively pleasing no one. 

Zesto Choc-O Chocolate Milk

The drink has a cartoony feel that’s eerily congruent with the lasso-wielding, bi-pedal cow emblazoned on the package. Flavorwise, there's a pronounced sourness that is common with some flavorings, and the texture is unpleasantly inauthentic feeling (and looking).

Goodday Chocolate Milk

More sharply ‘rummy’ than the UHT version, and accompanied by a ‘soiled paint thinner’ note quite opposite of the pleasantly sweet vanilla aroma. On its own, you might not notice the shortcomings as much, but in serial comparison to other chocolate milks, it’s surprisingly ugly.

Fresh Delight Chocolate Milk (UHT)

Paralyzingly bland-- no sweetness, cocoa, salt, malt, you name it.. Scoring this a 2.0 overall, as anything below 2.0 needs to have enough of a flavor to be considered ‘bad.’ This product is evidently aimed at those who find ketchup too spicy, and The Andy Griffith Show too racy.

Yoohoo Chocolate Strawberry

It tastes like sweet strawberry gum— not the worst thing ever, but I couldn’t locate the chocolate component. My biggest disappointment was that the product is the typical Yoohoo brown— I was hoping for something closer to the box’s radioactive mauve.

Lala Yomi Chocolate

A heck of a lot sweeter than the label reads, it’s too much. Upfront, the sugary blast shocks your tastebuds and prevents them from registering any other flavors. In the end, the aftertaste turns sour and metallic. The texture is nice, but that’s really the only positive quality.

Hershey's Leche Tropichoco

Definitely contains coconut flavor (not specifically called out on the label), which slaked my curiosity for what “Tropichoco” might be, and that gives the drink just enough direction to feel like an improvement over the previous Mexican Hershey’s boxed products. It shares the same cloying sweetness and contrived texture, but at least delivers on its (ambiguous) claim of difference.

Marinela Leche Gansito

Every bit as gray as wet cement, the flavor is less remarkable and very much skews toward the ‘sweet and not much else’ region. Though, the ‘not much else’ manages to contain a mild, multi-vitaminish note, but it’s distant enough to offend only the most sensitive.

Supligen Chocolate

Smooth upfront with a sweet mineral/metallic flavor blast, followed by a chalky exit and mullti-vitamin-y aftertaste. There’s a lot going on here, and while it tastes ok enough to continue, it’s not something that you would pursue for recreation.

Cacolac Bio

Similar to the (non-organic) canned version in that it’s super thin, smooth, and primarily sweet with a somewhat skunky cocoa flavor playing second fiddle. It’s less pronounced in this version, but the watery base nudges this more toward the realm of ‘choco drink’ than ‘chocolate milk.’