All in USA

MrBeast Feastables Chocolate Milk

Cocoa and 'cooked milk' flavor engage in a contentious yet civil battle for supremacy, with each claiming a piece of the crown at different points in the sip. Sweetness, salt, and cream play their supporting roles competently and remain in balance throughout. Texture-wise, it feels satisfying and fully-burdened, without veering into sludgy/chalky territory that claims many a protein-fortified chocolate milk. The 'good' certainly outweighs the 'bad'-- there are several things to like here. Rarely do you find a 'whole' protein fortified chocolate milk that employs real sugar as a sweetener. I also applaud the commitment to Fair Trade and eradication of child labor in the chocolate industry. My reviews are solely on taste/drinking experience, however, this remains a tasty and portable (UHT) way to enjoy a few extra grams of protein. That 'cooked milk' or caramelized lactose flavor is inevitable in ultra-high-temp pasteurization; I get that it's a necessary evil when balancing flavor with distribution and shelf life limitations. 

Conoco View Dairy Mocha Milk

Nary a cocoa contingent in this 'mocha' milk-- it drinks like straight coffee milk. I appreciate the creamline base, but it feels arbitrarily 'thickened' here and is a departure from expectations forged over past experiences with similar products. The coffee bit is ok, and it's not off-putting in any particular way-- perhaps it just feels a bit 'empty' after having Conoco View Dairy's excellent chocolate milk.

Conoco View Dairy Chocolate Milk

Lots of flavor in what feels like a compact, yet complex package. It's sweet, it's chocolaty, it's salty, it's creamy, and it has both a malty zing and an underlying grassiness. In short, there's a lot going on, and it's all very interesting. You could describe it as having a lack of focus, but it all kinda 'works' together to bring you a uniquely indulgent treat. The relatively thin viscosity helps to deliver the flavors more quickly-- acting as a 'punctuation' of sorts, that makes this most enjoyable in small, purposeful sips.

Nittany Valley Creamery Chocolate Peanut Butter Milk

The flavor comes on strong, and leans toward the sweeter end of the sweet/salty continuum. I feel that chocolate peanut butter is best represented with a saltier bent, but that's a minor gripe, as this is plenty decadent and delicious. The creamline base pays dividends in extending the flavor more gracefully into the aftertaste than its homogenized cousin could. Plenty to like here- especially if you're looking for a bit more tastebud stimulation than usual.

Nittany Valley Creamery Cookies & Cream Milk

Genuine cookies & cream flavor is best delivered through a creamline milk-- and this executes that very well. It's a sweeter profile (than chocolate milk) overall, and one that is a pleasant addition to the flavored milk lineup of Nittany Valley Creamery. Can't go wrong here- it is what you think it probably is (assuming you've had creamline milk before)- like melted cookies & cream ice cream without the solid bits.

Nittany Valley Creamery Chocolate Milk

Tasty medium cocoa flavor over a warm creamline base-- it's plenty substantial for those who like a beefy chocolate milk, and it remains cocoa-focused throughout. It's a flavor I feel I've had many times, and at the risk of sounding ungrateful, it doesn't move me in any particular direction, but simply delivers that delicious, creamline chocolate milk experience I've come to love.

Stoltzfus Family Dairy Mocha Latte Milk

Great balance of coffee and chocolate-- mocha milks nearly always have an overpowering coffee flavor. The creamline body deftly navigates your taste buds, delivering its undersweet, well-balanced flavor competently and evenly-- a refreshingly unique interpretation and execution of the mocha archetype.

Beyer Farms Dairy Raw Chocolate Milk

Delivers on the promise of its strikingly beautiful pre-and-post-shake visuals, with a finely-tuned sweet/salty balance favoring the latter, and a luxuriously indulgent creaminess unburdened by stabilizers, gums, or starches. The cocoa flavor is appropriately mature without veering into sour or earthy territory, and the overall experience gracefully wanes on the tastebuds but remains vivid in mind. If you've not tried raw chocolate milk, this would be an excellent place to start!

Bei Hollow Farm Raw Chocolate Milk

Gorgeously well-balanced with a salty uprfont hit that sets the tone early for the delicous deluge that is about to follow. The cocoa flavor is prominent and slightly on the darker side of the continuum-- it's not overly sweet or candified, and comes across as an indulgently creamy treat that lasts well into the aftertaste. 

Quest Chocolate Protein Milkshake

Shockingly cloying, fake-feeling sweetness on the first sip, but your taste buds acclimate surprisingly quickly to it. For the protein-enriched genre, it's got a thinner-than-average viscosity which helps drinkability and makes the inevitable chalky sledgehammer feel at least like a rubber-tipped one. There's a noticeable saltiness which also aids in keeping the sweetness more in the background than it otherwise would be. By the time I've gone through all 414mL, I've warmed to the flavor a bit, and find it to be a half-step above the typical 'high-protein/low-carb' offering from a taste and drinking experience perspective.

Weigel's Ellie's Tracks Milk

Striking flavor-- I would describe it as chocolate-peanut-butter-salted-caramel, with emphasis on 'salted.' Not a bad thing for sure, since it's also very sweet-- the combination…just kinda 'works.' It's smooth, creamy, and drinkable from a texture standpoint, and very punchy on the taste side with all flavors identifiable in a single sip. I must say, I'm still not 100% certain what this is, or who Ellie is, but it's worth the calories. At the risk of a 40+ year-old trying to sound like a 20-year old-- this stuff kinda 'slaps.'

Quest Chocolate Protein Shake (2025)

Interesting initial pop of flavor-- a punchy (faux) sweetness, then a cocoa hit, then somewhat of a watery washout. It makes you feel 'something'-- whether that 'something' adds to or subtracts from your experience on this planet is certainly debatable. The watery finish ameliorates some of the (would-be) chalkiness and astringency, but it accentuates the gimmicky sweetener combination of Sucralose, invert sugar, and Stevia. Do it if you need the protein. Don't if you don't.

Nurri Chocolate Milk Shake

Thick for what you generally get out of a can, pleasantly bland (given the genre), and while it carries some faux-sweet aftertaste baggage, it's not good, but also not the the worst thing in the world. It's like "I have a sexist uncle who occasionally says something inappropriate" kind of baggage, rather than "my last two girlfriends mysteriously passed away in their sleep" baggage. I've had a whole 12-pack of this stuff to arrive at my honest opinion, and to some extent, I've warmed up to it. In short, it's simply got a more 'balanced' flavor and drinking experience than many of its peers. Consider it a hard-fought 2.0.

Member's Mark Chocolate High Protein Nutritional Shake

Beefily thick and chalky, with a phony-feeling (but thankfully under-stated) sweetness and a drab cocoa flavor. Part of what makes it drab is the fact that it's got hardly any saltiness, which makes the rest of the underwhelming flavor feel 'blunt' and one-dimensional. It doesn't drink great, but I've had worse. This is what you think it is, and if you think this is good, then it's not what you think it is. 

Dairy Pure Milk 50 Lactose Free Chocolate Milk

Egregiously out of balance-- thicker than you expect for nonfat chocolate milk, with a gummy/slimy texture and slight astringency on the way out. Barely any flavor whatsoever, severely lacking cream, salt, sweetness, cocoa-- or anything remotely pleasurable. They took a paradigm-- chocolate milk-- and completely removed anything that anyone would enjoy about it. Even the color is a washed-out, ashen gray that further drives home the emptiness of this product. It's a husk. It's a failure. It's tasteless non-alcoholic beer that provides no buzz, yet a searing hangover. 

TruMoo Zero Chocolate Milk

Maintains the milky feel on the palate by virtue of its 'whole' milk base-- a wise option for a zero-sugar-added product-- since the fat content can still deliver a modicum of indulgence in an otherwise austere milieu. The sweetener profile Ace-K plus Sucralose is a common pairing, and slightly preferable to monk fruit juice and most Stevia concoctions. The balance here is surprisingly deft-- in other words, it's not terribly distracting.

Nesquik Chocolate Chip Cookie Milk

Profiles like a cookies & cream flavor with a caramel-like wave that hits mid-sip and sweeps it into another category-- evidently 'chocolate chip cookie.' The aftertaste tapers to an almost fruitiness, that, for me, had hints of canteloupe which I'm sure is unintentional. It's not great, albeit highly congruent with the Nesquik brand.

The Sebago House Dairy Raw Chocolate Milk

Chocolaty and sweet upfront, with a secondary pop of flavor in the mid-part of the sip, and concluding with a lithe, creamy finish that carries the cocoa flavor through to the aftertaste. It's a unique cocoa profile that starts and ends on the sweet side-- for me, the gorgeous, raw, silky base is the MVP.