All tagged 4.0

Hiland Chocolate Marshmallow Milk

Solid representation of what drinking a marshmallow would be like— so if that’s your charter, consider this a must-have. For everyone else, it’s a painfully sweet, much-more-marshmallow-than-chocolate experience, leaving you every bit as empty as the calories you just consumed.

Island Farms Chocolate Milk

Uber smooth, and has a noticeably ‘woody’ flavor— slightly bolder than that of your typical paper/carton taste. It’s not off-putting, but it’s not flavorful enough to overcome (what I assume to be) the essence leeched from the packaging.

Turkey Hill Low Fat Chocolate Milk

Searingly sweet, perhaps in an attempt to ameliorate the un-indulgent 1% milk fat base, but instead it draws too much attention and thwarts the likely good intentions. I’m no advocate for tasteless— but this would benefit from a ‘blanding.’

Our Family Low Fat Chocolate Milk

Lightly sweet and bland, with a starchy clinginess to the inside of your mouth— as though it's trying its best to hang on and impart some flavor “if only we had more time!!”— but fails remarkably in the end, cascading down the esophageal chasm never to be heard from again.

Vita 200% Chocolate Low Fat Milk

Strong cocoa flavor, but severely lacking accompaniment (creaminess, in particular) that could elevate the experience dramatically. Instead, you’ve got a watery-feeling boxed drink claiming ‘200% chocolate’— when the ingredients read: (1) water; (2) sugar; (3) milk solids; (4) cocoa powder…

Marigold Chocolate Milk

Mild and uncontroversial in every respect. I wouldn’t brag about this being in my fridge, and nobody is likely to de-friend me on social media if they found out it was there. On the bright side, mediocrity makes the extremes much more interesting.

Mizuho Choco Milk

Not terrible among the field of Taiwanese chocolate milk, but falls short of the global ‘average’ due to a chalky consistency that doesn't carry enough flavor and a creaminess that flirts and vanishes too quickly.

Fairlife Yup! Rich Chocolate Milk

Relatively thin and smooth texture dons the Fairlife / Yup signature flavor that most chocolate milk fans are well familiar with. It's sweet and finishes with an aftertaste that becomes increasingly unlike chocolate milk, dragging the overall experience a notch below median.

Working Cows Dairy Chocolate Milk

Wow- quite an interesting experience! It’s an odd combination of very thin (almost watery) and yet it carries a strong wild / grass-fed flavor that stands out. Its non-homogenous dark gray coloration really sets it apart as well. I usually reward uniqueness when it comes to the scores, but in this case, the flavor just isn’t what I’m looking for in a chocolate milk. That said, I will remember this product for a long time, and recommend chocolate milk lovers to give it the ol’ college try if you’re able.

Auchan Dessert à Boire Au Chocolat

Possibly the thickest thing I’ve ever tried to drink. It’s truly like pudding and would be better served in a dish with a spoon. The flavor is not bad at all— it’s very sweet and chocolaty and has an indulgent quality to it-- but as a ‘drink’— I think most people would gag at the viscosity.