All tagged High Fiber

Maola More Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

Maola More Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Unnaturally thick without a creamy payoff. Perhaps it's the prebiotic fiber mucking up the works, which doesn't sound appealing in a chocolate milk-- but fortunately doesn't add baggage on the flavor end. Texture aside, it's not an offensive drinking experience, just rather uninspired. Sure, more protein, less sugar, and added fiber are great features for the macro-conscious, but not for the hedonists in pursuit of the world's best chocolate milk. It's not particlulary chocolaty, creamy, or indulgent-feeling, however the sweeteners (sugar and sucralose) impart less distraction than its immediate peers in the genre. That's the most complimentary thing I can come up with.

Slate Mocha Latte

Slate Mocha Latte

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Strong coffee flavor that does a decent job of masking the monk fruit and Stevia leaf sweetener pairing-- this feels like it has a lot of caffeine (and it does-- 175mg per can). Fortunately, the sweeteners don't play a supporting role, and this is overall a few standard deviations less sweet than average chocolate milk. Texture-wise, you can feel the modestly starchy protein isolate throughout, and especially upon the conclusion each sip, where there's a noticeable but non-egregious astringency that lingers for a few beats. I don't get any of the 'cocoa' side of 'mocha'-- but flavor-wise, this is the most palatable chocolate-adjacent product I've had from Slate. 

Oikos Chocolate Protein Shake

Oikos Chocolate Protein Shake

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Poor balance of thickness-to-creaminess ratio very much in favor of the former, and strikingly undersweet in an almost avant-garde way, which I do appreciate. Much of the flavor is focused on chocolate-- a pleasant departure from the cloying, chemical sweetness that plagues the 'recovery shake' genre. A little salt would go a long way here, but what you're ultimately left with is a nigh-sludgy, unsweetened cocoa-forward and otherwise austere way to swill 30g protein.

Muscle Milk Pro Chocolate Peanut Butter

Muscle Milk Pro Chocolate Peanut Butter

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Not as thick or (fakely) sweet as the 'Knockout Chocolate' flavor-- but it still carries plenty of heft and an odd peanut-adjacent flavor that caused me to bristle at first, but subsequent sips beat my tastebuds into submission where it became palatable (but no more enjoyable). There was an element of 'stop resisting' [insert police brutality meme]. Nothing about the flavor or drinking experience approaches 'good' or even 'ok'. The aftertaste is an unpleasant continuation of its preceding sip; I would seriously struggle for motivation if this were my post-workout 'reward.' 

SlimFast High Protein Creamy Chocolate Shake

SlimFast High Protein Creamy Chocolate Shake

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Disturbingly thick and chalky, with no positive flavor attributes and a sharp yet playful fake-sweetener twang to the uvula. Impressive enough stats-- 20g protein, 1g sugar, 5g fiber, etc.-- however, it's living proof that there's no biological 'free lunch' as the saying goes. Bad taste and a worse feel, this leans more 'appetite suppressant' than the intended 'meal replacement.'

Muscle Milk Zero Chocolate Protein Shake

Muscle Milk Zero Chocolate Protein Shake

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Fakely (and strongly) sweet upfront with a starchy, chalky body-- full of protein to be sure, but devoid of anything pleasant. There's little to no cocoa flavor in spite of its dark and deeply brown visage. The post-sip vibes are a regret-inducing confluence of astringency and cloying chemical sweetness. ZERO reasons to drink this unless you need a quick protein infusion.

PediaSure Chocolate Shake

PediaSure Chocolate Shake

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

As a closet Ensure apologist (don't tell anyone) this is largely similar in texture and flavor to its grown-up (elderly?) counterpart. There's a definite 'vitamin-y' quality to the flavor, but the sweet-salty balance is decent and there's enough fat content to usher each sip toward a satisfying conclusion provided your expectations are adequately tempered.

Glucerna Shake Rich Chocolate

Glucerna Shake Rich Chocolate

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Chalky and metallic, with a lasting vitamin-y aftertaste. It's fairly thin and has a surprising salty quality which works to its advantage. I've had much worse in this category, but this drinks like a junior varsity port of Ensure. Not recommended for recreational use.

Lean Body Chocolate Protein Shake

Lean Body Chocolate Protein Shake

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Oddly undersweet at first sip, until a wave of phony, cloying sweetness rushes to the 'rescue' in the latter third of the sip. Admittedly, it wrests your attention away from the thick, chalky sludgy texture. It looks chocolaty, but that doesn't translate to the drinking experience much at all-- as bad as this is, I've had significantly worse. It's not face-twisting awful, which is the best thing I can say about it.

Valley View Farms Chocolate Milk Shake

Valley View Farms Chocolate Milk Shake

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Hefty, and paralyzingly sweet, this concoction is sure to add to your waistline and subtract from your lifetime. The maltiness comes on a bit too strong, but still takes a backseat to the cloying deluge of syrupy sludge that goes from esophagus to pancreas in record time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Kroger Slim Rite Milk Chocolate

Kroger Slim Rite Milk Chocolate

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

Vitamin-like metallic scent, minimally serviceable cocoa flavor, and loads of sandy granules that you can crunch between your bicuspids. Perhaps the best feature is the 5g of fiber per bottle, which can further expedite the process of getting this out of your system.

Fairlife Smart Snacks Rich Chocolate

Fairlife Smart Snacks Rich Chocolate

Perry Argiropoulos
USA

The sweeteners seem to be in competition and ultimately dominate the experience. A honey-like note kicks off the sip, but by the end, you have a saliva-inducing essence plaguing your tongue. In the interim, there’s too much chalk and not enough cocoa to salvage a respectable score.

Magnolia Chocolait

Magnolia Chocolait

Perry Argiropoulos
Philippines

Excellent texture and a surprisingly clean finish, making it easy to want more. The sweetness is appropriate, and there’s no funky aftertaste or curious residue left in the mouth afterward. It’s not obvious that it’s rehydrated.

DVF Dairy Farm Chocolate Water Buffalo Milk

DVF Dairy Farm Chocolate Water Buffalo Milk

Perry Argiropoulos
Philippines

Very unique— not only because it’s the first Kalabaw (Filipino water buffalo) milk I’ve had— but there’s a flavor to it that I've yet to experience in over 1,000 previous chocolate milks. It’s ‘spicy’— not in the traditional ‘hot’ sense, but it’s reminiscent of spices like cinnamon and perhaps tamarind (not a spice, I know) more so than chocolate. Pleasant, nonetheless, and worth a try if visiting Manila.

Oishi Choco Chug Rocky Road Chocolate Milk

Oishi Choco Chug Rocky Road Chocolate Milk

Perry Argiropoulos
Philippines

Sweeter than its (normal) chocolate counterpart, and the ‘nutty’ aspect of Rocky Road comes off as more of an earthy note. It’s not egregious, and gets more palatable with each sip. All things considered, it's pulled off decently well, and I applaud the uniqueness, as I've not seen this flavor of chocolate milk before.

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