All tagged Low Calorie

Milk 2 Go Sport Pro Chocolate

It probably won’t stab you to death in the shower. That’s the only positive thing I can say about it. You won’t question the ‘no sugar added’ claim on the front, but you may ponder how many brushings it will take to erase the flavor from your mouth, and how much bleach you’ll have to huff to dull the memory.

WW Homestead Dairy Skim Chocolate Milk

About as good as a nonfat chocolate milk can be. Chocolate remains the primary focus, and the supporting cast delivers it with enough confidence to allay strong suspicions about the fat content (or lack thereof). It does drink a little on the thicker side, but perhaps they’ve unlocked a secret regarding nonfat chocolate milk— don’t homogenize.

Oberweis No Sugar Added Low Fat Chocolate Milk

A chemical-esque chalky concoction, this may be more enjoyable to take as a suppository. The earthy flavor is more ‘garage sweepings’ than ‘arable countryside’ and the sweetener is distracting (perhaps a good thing in this case). I get that it’s low calorie— but it just reinforces the adage that there’s no biological free lunch.

Hiland Skim Chocolate Milk

It's easy to forget how unnatural skim chocolate milk looks, feels, and tastes— this is no exception. Cloyingly sweet and unsupported by its cream-starved base, you will begin to wonder if even the most sugar-ravenous kids would disparage their young viscera with anything more than a trial sip.

Selecta Low Fat Chocolate Milk

Smooth, bland, tastes of wet cardboard— the kind that had a lot of permanent marker writing on it. There’s very little depth to the flavor, and there’s nothing to hold your attention beyond the initial “I wonder what this tastes like” sip. The answer comes quickly, and you only take additional sips if you’re dying of thirst, or reviewing the product. Damn.

Inex Ta Boe Choco Loco

Despite having zero sweeteners (natural or artificial), this does *feel* like it’s artificially sweetened. It gives a sensation on the tongue not too different from artificially sweetened products I’ve had, but I do trust the label. It’s not offensive, especially considering the zero sweetener claim— they’ve done well to make it palatable.

Optimel Drink Chocolade

Musty, wet-cardboard flavor can’t be intentional, but it’s common enough in chocolate milk that I’m no longer surprised by it. This drink admittedly doesn’t have much to work with, given the nutritional profile, but perhaps just aiming for ‘bland’ should be the goal of certain producers.

Albert Heijn Basic Skimmed Choco Milk

Gives off a strange sensation that I’ve not felt much before— the first sip hits you as a hollow sweetness, and then, in your mouth, the swallow and aftertaste just get progressively sweeter. I’m not sure how/why this works, but it’s unpleasant. The sweetness feels unnatural as well, and the chocolate flavor is not at all worth the trouble.

Tine Uten Tilsatt Sukker Kakao

Manages the ‘unsweet’ aspect rather well, as the liquid cascades easily down the hatch with nary a fight. There’s not a lot of flavor; the highlight being a malty finish that becomes evident only in retrospect, but the fact that it's not offensive earns some points given its rather austere nutritional stats.

Tine Litago Uten Sjokolademelk

More of a milky flavor than anything else— definitely light on chocolate, cream, and anything else worth your time, save a maltiness that is prominent despite feeling a little forced. It finishes clean, and is easy to snatch another sip— shit, they get progressively better..

Tine Litago Lett Sjokolademelk

Less sweetness and cream than the Original version, but the flavor doesn't suffer in proportion because the cocoa is allowed more of the limelight and it works well. This isn’t a product that will blow your tastebuds’ collective mind, but given the nutritional stats, this tastes about as good as you could hope.

Mizo Kakao Light Laktozmentes

Palate-destroyingly sweet, and if you can persevere through the onslaught, you will find that your efforts were in vain; there’s nothing else behind it. The flavor isn’t ‘bad’ per se, it’s just rather pointless with something this sweet (artificial or not). I think people are more willing to accept a less-sweet ‘Light’ product— it should’t be amped up with artificial sweeteners to make someone feel that they’re having something indulgent.