All tagged No Added Sugar
It probably won’t stab you to death in the shower. That’s the only positive thing I can say about it. You won’t question the ‘no sugar added’ claim on the front, but you may ponder how many brushings it will take to erase the flavor from your mouth, and how much bleach you’ll have to huff to dull the memory.
A chemical-esque chalky concoction, this may be more enjoyable to take as a suppository. The earthy flavor is more ‘garage sweepings’ than ‘arable countryside’ and the sweetener is distracting (perhaps a good thing in this case). I get that it’s low calorie— but it just reinforces the adage that there’s no biological free lunch.
A biting stevia twang rushes to the sides of your tongue, absconding with the bulk of your attention. What remains is a non-creamy, earthy-cocoa-flavored liquid that's not worth your time, money, or refrigerator space.
Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
The Splenda taste is immediately recognizable (if you’re familiar with it) and it adequately sweetens the otherwise cardboard-y flavor. The aftertaste has an acidic bent that reminds me (only slightly) of the post-vomit stuff that you continue to spit out before the initial ‘rinse’.
Either a bitter fruitiness or a fruity bitterness greets you on the first sip and instantly manifests as regret. That’s more than $0.01 per mL— provided you drink the whole bottle. Pretty sure you won’t want to.
Milky and salty, but not quite malty or chocolaty. The artificial sweeteners are there if you look for them, but the smoothness greatly enhances the drinkability and makes sucralose less likely to be noticed.
Unnecessarily thick and tastes like spray paint fumes (modestly so, anyway). You could convince yourself that there’s more ‘banana’ flavor in this than ‘chocolate’— but either way, it’s not to be pursued for enjoyment.
Super starchy feel and a faux-sweetened wheatish taste. You could do a lot worse, but also a lot better with much less effort. Very little chocolate flavor— but if you like that ‘proteiny’ feel, have a go.
Thin and somewhat smooth, but unnatural feeling. The overt (phony) sweetness will shock and displease you. Reckon it's antifreeze without the cool green color.
Mild, fruity sweetness and chalky medium— it’s not horrendous, but definitely not chocolaty or something you’d drink for enjoyment. Tongue-watering faux-sweetener aftertaste drags it down a bit further though.
More bland and starchy than the 22g version, but a similar taste. I’d say it’s slightly more preferable as the aftertaste is less overt.
Chalky and seems to be shooting for a 'malty' flavor, but comes up rather short. It's light on flavor, but could be a lot worse considering the drink’s makeup and charter.
Super thick and dense feeling— but flavorwise, my low expectations turned out to be hasty. It’s definitely undersweet (as the label clearly would suggest) but there’s still enough chocolate flavor and creaminess to provide a hint of indulgence. Fans of thick shakes would do well to seek this out if counting calories.
Despite having zero sweeteners (natural or artificial), this does *feel* like it’s artificially sweetened. It gives a sensation on the tongue not too different from artificially sweetened products I’ve had, but I do trust the label. It’s not offensive, especially considering the zero sweetener claim— they’ve done well to make it palatable.
Musty, wet-cardboard flavor can’t be intentional, but it’s common enough in chocolate milk that I’m no longer surprised by it. This drink admittedly doesn’t have much to work with, given the nutritional profile, but perhaps just aiming for ‘bland’ should be the goal of certain producers.
Same sort of tongue-watering reaction that I got from the Classic and Halfvol Albert Heijn versions. Aside from that undesirable quality, this drink is flat and under-salted at the very least.
Well played here— a lighter version that puts more stock in cream than in sugar. Texture is on the gummy side that is more noticeable in small sips-- but the artificial sweeteners are well hidden and don’t detract from the flavor.
Tastes a lot better than the label would suggest. It's fairly creamy, undersweet (which works in this case) and doesn't try to promise something it can't deliver. Artificial sweeteners are practically undetectable and there's no collateral damage done to the texture.