Unnecessarily thick and tastes like spray paint fumes (modestly so, anyway). You could convince yourself that there’s more ‘banana’ flavor in this than ‘chocolate’— but either way, it’s not to be pursued for enjoyment.
All in Austria
Maxi Nutrition Promax Milk Extreme Chocolate
There's an ashy quality to the flavor and an anise-like twang on the tongue afterward. If you really need 50g protein, get a double Whopper or something else that won't leave your face grimacing and your wallet 4 quid lighter.
Q-Meieriene UltiMoo
Malty, flavorful, and a bit on the powdery side. Plenty sweet despite the ’30% less added sugar’ claim, this outperforms its relatively modest nutritional facts and is an enjoyable surprise.
Milk It! Czekoladowy
Straightforward chocolate flavor delivered through a texture that feels smooth going down, but leaves a lot of residue on the sides of the glass (most will drink it out of the bottle and never notice this). No surprises here (good or bad) but well-executed and worthy of your spare zloty.
Merkur Immer Gut Kakao
Despite being (apparently) the same product as Billa Kakao, this did not have the strong earthy component, but instead had a straightforward chocolate flavor that melded nicely with the other features.
Bio Plus Kakao Genuss
Unique! It’s creamy, thin, a bit chalky, and the hazelnut flavor mixed in creates an almost cinnamon-y flavor that works surprisingly well with the rest of the product, perhaps because it nicely mutes the sweetness. This is not a flavor profile that I would seek out, but this formulation has won me over.
Nom Fasten Protein Drink Schoko
A little dusty and drying to the mouth. Sweetness feels shallow and fake, but it’s not terrible for a protein fortified drink.
Spar Enjoy Schoko-Drink
Wow— tons of cocoa flavor that refuses to leave your side after each indulgent sip. There’s definitely some grit to it, but the cream helps to sweep it away and you won't mind anyhow. Might even give you a buzz if you’ve been chocolate deprived.
Billa Kakao
A bit gritty but still a milky feel-- the creaminess is executed well and doesn’t gum things up. The cocoa flavor is decidedly toward the earthy end of the spectrum, but the supporting cast compensates to make this an enjoyable and memorable drink.
Nom Fasten Milch Drink Schoko
You wouldn't know that this contains artificial sweeteners— kudos to the Nom team for that. Everything tastes and feels authentic and is extremely impressive given its meager calorie count (only 49 per 100mL).
Chiefs Choco Mountain Milk Protein
Scurries down your throat as if it's surprised it even got past your lips— a vile, parasitic maneuver. Deceptively thin and watery, it launches an unpleasant ferrous assault on your interior. Three sips was enough for me, and I do this kind of thing for fun.
Nom Kakao Milch Laktosefrei
Thicker and a bit creamier than the lactose-containing version, but still the pleasant cocoa flavor and balance that you would expect. Lactose intolerant folks have been well taken care of here.
Nom Kakao Milch
Smooth, well balanced, very drinkable all-purpose chocolate milk. Nothing particularly stands out, but is enjoyable nonetheless.
Gutes Land Milch Drink Schoko
Manages to deliver a deep chocolate flavor, perhaps slightly on the ‘powdery’ end of the spectrum, but all elements work together to deliver a solid chocolate milk experience that is well worth your pocket change.
Koawach Klassik Naturlich Schokoladig
So incredibly brown that it's almost red-- feels like it's staining my teeth immediately upon consumption. Kinda worth it though-- it has a super strong cocoa flavor and a minute amount of sweetness (tastes a lot less sweet than the 8.8g sugar/100mL would suggest). It's also the first chocolate milk product I’ve had that is caffeinated (guarana). In short, this is memorable and should be sought out for fans of super dark chocolate.
DM Sportness Chocolate Protein Drink
Thick, metallic, nasty. Like drinking the blood of someone who just did crossfit. No salt, and a bit too much sweet-- this should be avoided.
Njie ProPud Protein Milkshake Chocolate Flavor
Unique drink— thick(ish) but very smooth, nicely light sweetness but more of a hazelnutty flavor than a chocolaty one. Reminds me a bit of a more sensible Zott Monte, but not in a bad way.
Coop Kakao Skummetmaelk
Strong fake-banana flavor that permeates the experience. Knowing that this is likely not the intention, it just comes across as ‘funky’— not in a good way.
Barebells Chocolate Flavor Milkshake
No added sugar, plenty of protein, and actually not tasteless or terribly offensive. The texture feels dense (a slight departure from ‘milky’) but the artificial sweeteners do their job well and the package is not only potable, but preferable (from a taste standpoint) to many others in the ‘recovery’ market.
Salzburg Milch Premium Austrian Alpine Chocolate Milk
Strong cocoa flavor (with a smoky, almost anise-y bent) helps to cover the lack of cream (it’s fat free) quite well. My low expectations were surpassed and on its own it’s tasty enough to be considered a treat.