Grainier, slightly more natural feeling than the ‘Genuine’ Muscle Milk, but still hard to get down. Lots of grit in the teeth after each reluctant swallow.
All in USA
Monster Muscle Monster Chocolate Energy Shake
Smells like turpentine, looks like coffee, tastes like a bit of a mixture of the two. There is a little bit of a creamy component that is welcomed, but the overwhelmingly dominant flavor is a sour/rummy/chemically taste that lingers in the mouth beyond what you’d hope.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). Mild metallic aftertaste is thankfully fleeting.
Nestle Nesquik Protein Plus Chocolate
Plasticky texture and a candy-like sweetness that is hard to stomach. The ’28% less sugar’ claim I feel is a bit misleading, and regardless, there are items with half the sugar that taste much better.
Howling Cow PowerPack Protein Fortified Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Remarkably thin and smooth for a protein-fortified chocolate milk. All the flavors are congruent with what you'd expect; a nice surprise in its difference among its fortified peers, yet conformity to a chocolate milk paradigm.
Organic Valley Organic Balance Dark Chocolate Milk Protein Shake
Very sour and slightly bitter cocoa taste that takes a few sips to acclimate to— and by the time you’ve adjusted, the bottle is gone.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Refuel Protein Chocolate Milk Beverage
So sweet, but so unnatural. Theres a super-strong fake-honey flavor that then morphs into a mouth-watering (not in a good way) cloying reaction. I think the tongue is trying to secrete as much saliva as it can to escort this product off of it as soon as possible.
TruMoo High Protein Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Much saltier and more flavorful than other TruMoo products I've had— perhaps that is a big part of what they were missing. Chocolate isn’t too prominent, but a strong maltiness is well executed and a pleasure to drink.
Lidl Chocolate Milk
One of the most generic-looking packages I've seen, but the taste is actually quite punchy— lots of sweetness, adequate cocoa, decent amount of salt, and an almost caramel-y finish that works pretty well.
TruMoo PET Chocolate Whole Milk
Rich experience that could benefit from stronger cocoa flavor, but the proportions work well enough to warrant future pursuit.
Maola by Marva Maid Chocolate Lowfat Milk (1.89L)
There's something off about the texture— it’s fairly smooth but feels like it refuses to disperse naturally. It’s moderately sweet but has no other distinguishable flavors going on.
Sealtest Chocolate Milk
Very well rounded and carries a noticeable maltiness that brings each sip to a satisfying conclusion.
Hershey's 2% Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk (325mL UHT)
Solid chocolate flavor delivered through a nicely thin, creamy medium. There is a bit of grain throughout, but it does not detract from the tasty experience. Strong across the board.
TruMoo Mayfield 1% Chocolate Milk
Straightforward, slightly on the bland side, but competent 1% chocolate milk with little to write home or complain about.
Reed's Gourmet Chocolate Milk
Fantastic chocolate flavor and salty/sweet levels. The texture is quite thick and has lots of particulates that will adhere to the inside of the glass (it has potato flakes in it). From a taste standpoint, it’s outstanding, I wish the texture were a bit thinner/smoother. Minor gripe.
Food Lion Chocolate Milk
Salty, sweet, creamy, malty— all around a very tasty experience. Chocolate may be the least prominent feature of the drink, but the others are great so you won’t care too much.
Yup Double Chocolate Low Fat Ultra-Filtered Milk
Strong overall flavor, and a lot of what I get is sweetness, which is not what you’d expect from a ’25% less sugar’ product. I suspect the monk fruit extract, which is 150-200x sweeter than sugar, is a bit overplayed here, upstaging the ‘double chocolate’ element.
Rumble SuperShake Dutch Cocoa
If ‘potting soil’ and ‘paint thinner’ had a baby, this would be the amniotic fluid. This isn’t really chocolate milk in the purest sense, it’s definitely a ‘health shake’— and it may deliver on that, but if it’s taste you’re after, spread garbage disposal gleanings on a cracker instead.
Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Flavored Milk Shake
Tons of flavor, about as sweet as one could stomach, yet it still tastes pretty good. If you melted cookies ’n’ creme ice cream, strained out the solid bits, and thinned out the texture-- this is pretty much what you'd get. It’s not disappointing from that perspective.
Schroeder Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Pleasantly smooth, silky feel, and a medium-sweet, lightly malty flavor highlight the experience. It satisfies in a pinch, but the goal is not to find oneself in said pinch.