Darker chocolate flavor that settles quickly. I love how the thin viscosity pairs with the cream to make it extremely (and quickly) drinkable. Has a mature flavor that gets better the deeper you get into the pint.
All in USA
Muscle Milk Original Chocolate
Chalky, metallic, and artificially sweet— there’s not much reason to pursue this for taste purposes (I’m sure most people drink it for other reasons). Leaves an unpleasant aftertaste that is hard to shake.
Shop Rite Chocolate Milk
Its gray color is a harbinger of the lack of chocolate you will soon experience. There’s a salty, milky flavor that isn’t awful— but it’s hard to file it under ‘chocolate milk’ — or at least what that file cabinet should contain.
Hood Simply Smart Fat Free Chocolate Milk
Artificially thick— an attempt at ‘enhancing’ fat free chocolate milk as having a creamy component— but it doesn’t work all that well. The chocolate flavor is a sour one, reminding me of that sour note you get from chocolate syrup. Also leaves a bit of a residue in the back of the throat, further reminding you of the inauthenticity.
Hood Calcium Fortified Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Very powdery chocolate flavor and texture— left lots of tiny grit on the tongue. Otherwise, quite average across the board.
Hood Moo Struck Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Has a slightly sour/boozy note that, when paired with the candyish chocolate quality, does not do itself any favors. It’s also way too sweet, which (by the third sip) became its biggest drawback.
Shaw Farm Dairy Chocolate Milk
Malty and delicious— great balance of flavor and texture. There’s almost a buttery quality to the cream which brings each sip to a rewarding conclusion. One of the best I’ve had in a while!
Oakhurst Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Thin, sweet, and not overly chocolaty. Not offensive, not memorable, mildly nostalgic (as I grew up in Maine swilling this stuff).
Lucerne Protein Plus Chocolate Flavored Dairy Beverage
Thick, chalky texture and an unrewarding earthy taste. It carries a powdery quality that will dry out your mouth post-swallow— remedying this discomfort is the only incentive to take another sip.
Hood Chocolate Whole Milk
Plenty sweet, and enough cream, malt, and cocoa flavor to be taken seriously. There is a slight powdery-ness that pervades the experience but it’s not egregious enough to curb the enjoyment.
Contookook Creamery Chocolate Milk
Should be served with a side of insulin. Tons of flavor, but primarily in the sugary direction. This is one of the sweetest, most cloying chocolate milks I’ve had. If you can ignore the sweetness (which is nigh impossible), the other flavors will seem well proportioned.
Lucerne Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Unnatural bubbles on the top make for an ominous first impression. It’s more sweet than anything else— and there’s a creaminess present despite the texture feeling less ‘milky’ than you’d expect.
Hannaford Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Syrupy sweetness to it that tingles the throat upon swallow. Cocoa taste is there, but the texture feels a bit starchy and over thickened.
Bartlett Farm Dairy Chocolate Milk
Very sweet and a mildly malty— which helps, but this is a bit much at once. It should be diluted with regular milk to maintain the decent flavor but cut down the sweetness to a more palatable level.
Oakhurst Super Premium Chocolate Milk
Mature (and a tad sour) chocolate flavor stands out above its other qualities, all of which are competent in their support of the cocoa. Nicely thin (considering the fat content) and natural-feeling texture.
Publix Chocolate Milk
Beautiful aesthetics, and nicely creamy but lacks a cocoa punch. It’s definitely a flavor upgrade from the Lowfat version, but lacks imagination.
Publix Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Thinner and quite a bit sweeter than average, it’s nicely drinkable, but doesn’t carry a lot of chocolate flavor— and the chocolate flavor that is present is a touch on the ‘candy’ side.
SE Grocers Low Fat Chocolate Milk
More of a ‘milky’ flavor than chocolate, which is a bit unique, but nonetheless comes across as bland.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Milk
A darkish, sourish, mature-ish flavor that rides along a smooth wave of creamy. Feels dessert-like, indulgent, and should be handled with reverence.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Sharpish taste to the first sip that I have a hard time describing, but it involves a saltiness— which is not a turnoff, just a surprise. In the end, it evokes a malty quality that outshines the cocoa aspect.