All in USA
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
Tastes a lot less exciting than ‘Jumpin Jimmy’ may suggest— but that’s not a bad thing. What you get here is a relatively undersweet, chalky, chocolaty drink that sports neither a caffeinated nor protein-y flavor. It will give you a bit of a jolt though, if you're not used to it.
The first sip said ‘maple syrup’ to me, but as I pressed on, I began to appreciate the cocoa flavor that becomes more evident in the (rather delicious) aftertaste. It’s delectably creamy, fun to drink, and feels indulgent yet not in an overpowering way. Melted ice cream is probably the closest thing.
Tons of salty malty goodness here, in a creamy medium that enslaves your palate in velvety shackles— you won’t want to break free!
Great creamy smoothness aside, there’s a sharpish malt flavor in place of the cocoa— and normally I like a malt flavor, but this one feels a bit misplaced or underdeveloped. All else is very good, but the predominant flavor is still shrouded in mystery.
Pleasantly average chocolate milk that plays it right down the middle in all categories and doesn’t go into business for itself.
Smooth and sweet— but I taste more stevia than honey. It’s not as blatant as some of the other Fairlife products, but neither is the chocolate presence. It could use a heavier dose of salt to bring out the cream, as it’s lacking flavor dimensionality.
Tons of flavor, with the cocoa nearly in equal proportion to the sweetness— providing a more mature, dessert-y type of feel that makes my heart sing. The creamy base does its job almost too well-- as it’s easy to drink too much of it too fast.
Strongly sweet, with an almost honey-ish bent; it fits together well with above-average saltiness and a super smooth and creamy medium. More cocoa wouldn’t hurt, but it’s far from broken and no need to fix it-- it’s objectively delicious.
Creamy, sweet, and enjoyable, but don’t expect your chocolate ‘itch’ to get scratched.
Has the confidence to rein in the sugar and ultimately let the cocoa flourish, with lots of help from the deliciously creamy solvent. It looks and feels substantial, which will make you savor it all the more.
Multivitamin scent and flavor (to a lesser extent), and feels like a mouthful of beach sand. You can chomp on the individual grains during and after each sip, and there’s an audible ‘crunch’ as you do so. It’s chalky, passably chocolaty, and from a taste perspective, you could do a lot worse in the ‘breakfast shake’ category.
Sweet and chocolaty, with plenty of excusable chalk. The flavor is not to be overlooked here, it is rather strong and true— I must say that I’m both surprised and impressed. Your mouth will dry out from the heavy chalk, but you’ll effortlessly rationalize another sip, and another…
If you’re paying close attention, you may notice actual tiny bits of banana that buoy to the surface, and you can feel them on your tongue— actually a welcome feature and pleasant surprise. The banana flavor is stronger than the cocoa flavor, but it’s a pleasantly unique drink that can be a nice change of pace.
Has a unique, sharp malt flavor that outshines the cocoa flavor but should maintain your interest throughout. The powerful malt accentuates the ‘creamy’ aspect over the ‘sweet’ one, and it works rather well here.
Fairly bland upon first taste, then devolves to a grainy-ish, salty, yet creamy quality that’s difficult to adjust to. I’m left longing for more chocolate and a more satisfyingly punctuated finish.
Super smooth, very creamy and malty, but not particularly chocolaty. Manages to feel indulgent without a significant flavor punch.
Powerfully malty to an extent that you double-check the label, which says ‘chocolate.’ Lovers of malt will find this irresistible, those expecting chocolate will be disappointed. I like it more for its uniqueness than anything else— it’s a pleasant departure from the bog-standard chocolate milk you typically find in gas stations.
Salty, malty, and rather powdery— leaving your mouth dry and longing for stronger chocolate flavor. The creaminess is its best attribute and is executed well, but undercut by the powdery/grainy texture.
Wow, just wow. Incredibly indulgent feeling, yet easy to drink. Salty, malty, creamy— all in excess, and I love it. It’s mature, balanced, and melts in your mouth— absolutely PHENOMENAL!
