Flavorful combination of chocolaty and salty, with ample creamy backing to carry the flavors through to the end.
All in USA
Purple Cow Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly smooth but the flavor is a bit of a mystery. There’s very limited cocoa presence, and the sweetness has an almost fruity quality that will make you take a second look at the label in search of ‘artificial sweeteners.’ There aren’t any, but it tastes like there are.
Schnucks Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Mostly average, however has a strong saltiness that interacts well with the other flavors, giving the impression (illusion?) of a slightly more creamy and malty tasting product. Not bad.
Laura Lynn Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Gorgeous light brown coloration and a pretty flavorful experience, both chocolaty and sweet in decent proportion. Nicely satisfies the chocolate milk jones, should you have one (I have several per day).
Natural Low Fat Chocolate Milk UHT
More of a creamy flavor than a sweet one, it feels closer to the mature end of the cocoa spectrum as opposed to the ‘candied’ end. It’s pleasant, checks all the boxes, but won’t blow you away with any spikes or dips in flavor or quality.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Protein Builder Chocolate
Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.
Homestead Creamery Chocolate Milk
Malty, creamy, salty, and super-drinkable. Your mouth will wonder what it did to deserve this, and your stomach will churn at the mere thought of your next sampling of mass-produced, low fat swill.
Groves Family Dairy Chocolate Milk
Everything you’d hope for in a chocolate milk— plenty sweet, creamy, chocolaty, salty-- it's delicious and incredibly drinkable.
a2 Milk Chocolate
Adequately creamy, averagely chocolaty, and pleasant— despite a mildly pervasive aura that I can best describe as that slightly minty paste you may or may not have consumed as a child. Texture-wise, it sports a substantial build with a relatively clean, adhesive-free finish.
Publix Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Smooth, sweet, and bland. There's not a very strong chocolate component-- thus it’s like pleasantly sweetened milk.
Orgain Grass Fed Protein Creamy Chocolate Fudge
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
Hatcher Family Dairy Jumpin Jimmy
Tastes a lot less exciting than ‘Jumpin Jimmy’ may suggest— but that’s not a bad thing. What you get here is a relatively undersweet, chalky, chocolaty drink that sports neither a caffeinated nor protein-y flavor. It will give you a bit of a jolt though, if you're not used to it.
Hatcher Family Dairy Chocolate Milk
The first sip said ‘maple syrup’ to me, but as I pressed on, I began to appreciate the cocoa flavor that becomes more evident in the (rather delicious) aftertaste. It’s delectably creamy, fun to drink, and feels indulgent yet not in an overpowering way. Melted ice cream is probably the closest thing.
JD Country Chocolate Milk
Tons of salty malty goodness here, in a creamy medium that enslaves your palate in velvety shackles— you won’t want to break free!
Best Choice Chocolate Milk
Great creamy smoothness aside, there’s a sharpish malt flavor in place of the cocoa— and normally I like a malt flavor, but this one feels a bit misplaced or underdeveloped. All else is very good, but the predominant flavor is still shrouded in mystery.
Best Choice Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly average chocolate milk that plays it right down the middle in all categories and doesn’t go into business for itself.
Fairlife Smart Milkshakes Chocolate
Smooth and sweet— but I taste more stevia than honey. It’s not as blatant as some of the other Fairlife products, but neither is the chocolate presence. It could use a heavier dose of salt to bring out the cream, as it’s lacking flavor dimensionality.
Purity Chocolate Milk (pint)
Tons of flavor, with the cocoa nearly in equal proportion to the sweetness— providing a more mature, dessert-y type of feel that makes my heart sing. The creamy base does its job almost too well-- as it’s easy to drink too much of it too fast.
Prairie Farms Chocolate Milk
Strongly sweet, with an almost honey-ish bent; it fits together well with above-average saltiness and a super smooth and creamy medium. More cocoa wouldn’t hurt, but it’s far from broken and no need to fix it-- it’s objectively delicious.
Publix Chocolate Milk
Creamy, sweet, and enjoyable, but don’t expect your chocolate ‘itch’ to get scratched.