Decently thin and smooth texture, but not much taste beyond a fairly empty sweetness and mild cocoa flavor.
All in USA
Country Delite Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Flat overall flavor and dead average across the board. This perfectly epitomizes the ‘average chocolate milk in a big ass gallon jug’ motif that pervades so much of America.
Country Delite Really Chocolate Milk
Plenty of flavor packed into a fairly dense medium, but it’s sweet, salty, chocolaty, creamy, and indulgent.
Chick-fil-A Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Sports a cooked milk / caramel flavor punch that rises above its other characteristics. It’s plenty sweet, adequately chocolaty, and should serve as a fine addition to any fried chicken order.
Prairie Farms Chocolate & PB
Much saltier and sweeter than I was expecting— the ‘peanut’ side of things is more strongly represented than the ‘chocolate.’ After the initial shock (of powerful salty/sweet/nutty) wears off, it gets to be more pleasant and is enjoyable in relatively small amounts due to the indulgence factor.
Bolthouse Farms Chocolate Protein Plus
A powdery, grainy feel and soy flavor highlight the experience, and limit the score significantly. It doesn't have a ‘bad’ flavor for what it is, but it carries more of a fruity sweetness than a ‘Rich Chocolate Taste’ that the label touts.
MET-Rx High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Thick, chalky, and highly unsweet. It makes you wonder what ‘Drano’ might taste like, and how similar to this it might be.
Gatorade Recover Chocolate Protein Shake
Syrupy and grainy texture— it’s not milk, nor does it imitate it well. The sweetness level is appropriate, and the flavor is not terribly chocolaty, but not necessarily terrible. It’s rather boring, with a sticky, unnatural feel.
Snowville Creamery Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Strong cocoa hit in the early part of the sip, but lacks a creaminess that would really add some punch and staying power to the flavor. It’s very thin and there’s no trace (taste-wise) of its ‘high protein’ claim. Very unique and memorable.
Kalona Super Natural Organic Chocolate Milk
Thick, sweet, and uniquely flavored. There’s a sharpness that reminds me of canned soup (initially) though the more you have of it, the less odd it becomes. It definitely feels indulgent— due to the thickness and sweetness it’s difficult to drink a lot at once. Memorable, nonetheless.
Prairie Farms Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Nicely salty and sweet, but the texture has a hint of ‘syrupy’ feel that is more noticeable in small sips.
Purple Cow Chocolate Milk
Creamy but otherwise bland— a light sweetness is just about all there is to enjoy aside from the cream. Under chocolaty and devoid of any other distinctive characteristics (malt, sourness, saltiness, etc.).
Schnucks Chocolate Milk
Flavorful combination of chocolaty and salty, with ample creamy backing to carry the flavors through to the end.
Purple Cow Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly smooth but the flavor is a bit of a mystery. There’s very limited cocoa presence, and the sweetness has an almost fruity quality that will make you take a second look at the label in search of ‘artificial sweeteners.’ There aren’t any, but it tastes like there are.
Schnucks Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Mostly average, however has a strong saltiness that interacts well with the other flavors, giving the impression (illusion?) of a slightly more creamy and malty tasting product. Not bad.
Laura Lynn Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Gorgeous light brown coloration and a pretty flavorful experience, both chocolaty and sweet in decent proportion. Nicely satisfies the chocolate milk jones, should you have one (I have several per day).
Natural Low Fat Chocolate Milk UHT
More of a creamy flavor than a sweet one, it feels closer to the mature end of the cocoa spectrum as opposed to the ‘candied’ end. It’s pleasant, checks all the boxes, but won’t blow you away with any spikes or dips in flavor or quality.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Protein Builder Chocolate
Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.
Homestead Creamery Chocolate Milk
Malty, creamy, salty, and super-drinkable. Your mouth will wonder what it did to deserve this, and your stomach will churn at the mere thought of your next sampling of mass-produced, low fat swill.
Groves Family Dairy Chocolate Milk
Everything you’d hope for in a chocolate milk— plenty sweet, creamy, chocolaty, salty-- it's delicious and incredibly drinkable.