Unapologetically flavorful with plus sweet/salty/cocoa aspects. Overall, a very solid build, strongly chocolaty, and hard to believe it’s just 1% fat.
All in USA
United Dairy Farmers Homemade Serious Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Emphatically delivers on the ‘serious chocolate’ claim— it is abundantly so. It’s also significantly sweeter than average, and an odd choice to attempt to extend a 1% fat chocolate milk into the indulgent sphere. For the most part, it works— as the flavor is great (especially in small quantities due to the heavy-handed sugar), but it’s definitely more ‘starchy’ than ‘creamy’; you can't fake it with filler.
Green Field Farms Organic Chocolate Milk
Absolutely NAILS the ‘not terribly thick’ to ‘impossibly creamy’ ratio— I’ve already put down two glasses before writing the first word. There’s a blissfully buttery aspect to the cream flavor, and the cocoa it supports is prominently featured and delicious.
Giant Eagle Local Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Drinks very well— there’s a cleanness to the finish that is garnished with salt and malt. There’s also some chalk involved, but given the flavor, it seems to have a purpose and therefore does not stand out as a drawback.
Brunton Dairy Chocolate Milk
A true deluge of flavor from first sip to tummy-rubbing listless coma. Full-bodied, chocolaty, sweet, creamy— basically, it’s liquid love-handles.
Schneider's Chocolate Milk
Luxuriously smooth and creamy, but severely lacking cocoa flavor. It’s still very pleasant to sip— especially if you fancy vanilla milk— as that’s what it tastes like. The texture is spot-on, and the flavor is muted (even for vanilla milk), but I still find it enjoyable and worthwhile.
Brunton Dairy Chocolate Milk (plastic)
A true deluge of flavor from first sip to tummy-rubbing listless coma. Full-bodied, chocolaty, sweet, creamy— basically, it’s liquid love-handles.
Schneider's Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Nothing offensive, unless you’re aggrieved by an impossibly boring product that would be upstaged by an unsalted pretzel. Fortunately it’s not over-sweet, which is appreciated, but every other meaningful flavor category is underrepresented here as well.
Turner's Chocolate Milk
Deeply chocolaty with excellent backing from the sweetness and cream— a duo that work together very well to make the cocoa flavor pop upfront and sustain well into the pensive afterglow that is sure to follow.
Turner's Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Prominent cocoa flavor that shows up early and stays late— a much more welcome characteristic in chocolate milks than in houseguests.
United Dairy Chocolate Nonfat Milk
Has that sweet carton-y flavor that plagues many chocolate milks packaged in such a way. Basically, it’s like licking one of those colored greeting card envelopes that has a modicum of sweetness and otherwise industrial paper-like quality. I think I prefer the envelope.
United Dairy Nonfat Chocolate Milk
Bland and unoffensive, very smooth and drinkable for a nonfat chocolate milk. It’s hard to get excited about it, but there are much worse skim options out there that try too hard to be something they are not.
United Dairy Lowfat Chocolate Milk
More of a ‘peanutty’ essence than that of chocolate— it’s salty, and very smooth. Not a bad experience, but one that is lacking cocoa flavor.
United Dairy Chocolate Milk
An under-chocolaty but otherwise fully competent whole chocolate milk. It disperses pleasantly and naturally, has a decent sweet/salty ratio, and has a good creamy taste.
Pot O Gold Pot Bellies Chocolate Milk
Unique combination of super thick, dense, creamy, and smooth— with a flavor that’s slightly more sweet than chocolaty. It’s best to take this in small, manageable sips— as an attempt to ‘chug’ could have serious repercussions— and also, the flavor is easier to appreciate at a more deliberate rate of consumption.
Pot O Gold Chocolate Milk
Unique combination of super thick, dense, creamy, and smooth— with a flavor that’s slightly more sweet than chocolaty. It’s best to take this in small, manageable sips— as an attempt to ‘chug’ could have serious repercussions— and also, the flavor is easier to appreciate at a more deliberate rate of consumption.
Giant Eagle Chocolate Milk
Excellent chocolate-malt flavor with a snap of salt that ties it up neatly. The cocoa flavor is true, it’s easy to drink, and even easier to want more.
Giant Eagle Lowfat Chocolate Milk
I appreciate the thinner-than-expected viscosity nestled among its otherwise dead-average characteristics.
Giant Eagle Local Chocolate Milk
Sweet and curiously under-chocolaty— it drinks like a sweetened half & half— not the worst thing under the sun, but an interesting profile choice for chocolate milk.
Buckeye Country Creamery Chocolate Milk
Slightly wild with an under-sweet, powdery cocoa flavor that pairs quite well with its warmly creamy base. The cream’s presence remains long after each swallow, and it just ‘feels’ right.