Relatively thin for whole milk, yet creamy and tasty in a way that whole chocolate milk is expected to be. There are neither sinister deviations from- nor brilliant exploitations of- the typical chocolate milk properties, just delicious simplicity.

Quite possibly the finest chocolate mint milk extant. It arrives with a flavorful density, yet lightens immediately in the mouth as though it knows exactly where to go and how to navigate to its destination— leaving you with a satisfying minty coolness from gums to gullet. Alliteration was never my strong point.

Wow— this flavor profile (chocolate, chili pepper, cinnamon) may not be for everyone (self included), but it’s executed remarkably well here, particularly the slightly delayed heat from the pepper that comes in at the perfect time and strength. The cinnamon is not overpowering, and the chocolate is present throughout. A marvel of modern engineering, and if you think you might like this, it’s a no-brainer.

A bit shockingly salty upfront, but you quickly warm to it with further sips. The flavor is intensely salted caramel, not as much chocolate, and it tastes like you think it should. The texture is a bit more concerning, as it skews more syrupy than milky.

A strong, stationery-esque taste has unfortunately leeched from the carton, distracting from its originally intended flavor. Texture-wise, it’s full and smoothly pleasant, and the sweetness is thankfully in check.

There’s a substantial heft to the body, which delivers an abundance of cocoa flavor and an indulgently creamy undertone that sustains the flavor until you’re ready for the next draw. In short: dense, chocolaty, and delicious.

A strapping meathook of buttery cream grabs you by the scruff of the neck and takes you on an adventure you won’t soon forget. It’s wilder than average, saltier than sweet, uniquely fascinating, and entirely delicious! I drank the whole pint before writing a single word (luckily I had 2 bottles)- so it effectively rendered me in a listless stupor— albeit slightly more alert than my default state. Touché.

A nostril-flaring, nipple-hardening cocoa experience you will neither match nor forget; a must-have for any fan of chocolate, milk, or the luxurious confluence thereof. From bouquet to delicious cocoa nibs, to the mature aftertaste that satisfies yet beseeches the next sip: this will buzz you beyond the limits your morning french press. Outstanding.

Well-balanced and highly drinkable chocolate milk that is congruent with its classy duo-tone old style carton. Don’t expect trendy flavors or textures here, just straight-up chocolate milk like you remember from your childhood.

Whole chocolate milk doesn’t need to take chances to be delicious. It’s slightly (and pleasantly) under-sweet, affording the chocolate flavor more of the limelight.

The cream coats your insides with a sagacity that one can only hope transmutes to the soul itself, providing a physically warm, intellectually cozy experience— bafflingly achieved through drinking a chilled liquid. Lo, the enigma of paradox!

The sweetness steps aside and gallantly holds the door for the creamy-cocoa wave that begins subtly yet ends somehow tastefully garish. Excellent overall feel, and a true and well-delivered cocoa flavor that lasts far beyond mouth occupation. 

Strongly chocolaty (to a near earthy extent) and well-supported by its competently creamy base and unobtrusive sweetness. It starts and finishes with cocoa flavor and leaves you as all chocolate milks should: wanting more.