All in USA
Nastily thick and un-milky in a way that makes you gulp it in, and then down— likely not as noticeable through its provided straw. The textural gaffes would be excusable if it delivered great flavor— which it certainly does not: strong, unoffensive malt with nary a shard of chocolate.
Excellent creaminess with minimal viscosity— one of the most competent chocolate milks I’ve ever had in terms of this ratio. Both elegant and lithe, it drinks like a dream that you don’t want to wake from. Flavor-wise, it’s decidedly on the bland side, choosing to slow-play the cocoa flavor whilst keeping the sugar well at bay.
Confidently wild, luxuriously creamy, and exceedingly drinkable— the grass-fed cream is by far the star of the show here. Chocolate plays an understated, yet competent role, letting the cream flourish and the salt accentuate each draw like an ocean wave lapping the smoothly sun-bleached rocks of the Downeast Maine coast.
Mildly creamy, yet chalky and super bland. Chocolate is nowhere to be found, and a faint, pleasant malt flavor struggles in earnest to shine under a dim spotlight. It’s a bit drying to the mouth after each swallow, though a bit more subtle than most other high-protein chocolate milks.
Relatively thin for whole milk, yet creamy and tasty in a way that whole chocolate milk is expected to be. There are neither sinister deviations from- nor brilliant exploitations of- the typical chocolate milk properties, just delicious simplicity.
Quite possibly the finest chocolate mint milk extant. It arrives with a flavorful density, yet lightens immediately in the mouth as though it knows exactly where to go and how to navigate to its destination— leaving you with a satisfying minty coolness from gums to gullet. Alliteration was never my strong point.
Wow— this flavor profile (chocolate, chili pepper, cinnamon) may not be for everyone (self included), but it’s executed remarkably well here, particularly the slightly delayed heat from the pepper that comes in at the perfect time and strength. The cinnamon is not overpowering, and the chocolate is present throughout. A marvel of modern engineering, and if you think you might like this, it’s a no-brainer.
A bit shockingly salty upfront, but you quickly warm to it with further sips. The flavor is intensely salted caramel, not as much chocolate, and it tastes like you think it should. The texture is a bit more concerning, as it skews more syrupy than milky.
The same, signature Fairlife twang plugged into a more clotted base. The sweetness is distractingly unnatural and significantly hampers the experience. I get that the nutrition stats are attractive (low sugar, high protein) and it serves that market well, but from a flavor standpoint, it doesn’t quite do whole milk justice.
A strong, stationery-esque taste has unfortunately leeched from the carton, distracting from its originally intended flavor. Texture-wise, it’s full and smoothly pleasant, and the sweetness is thankfully in check.
There’s a substantial heft to the body, which delivers an abundance of cocoa flavor and an indulgently creamy undertone that sustains the flavor until you’re ready for the next draw. In short: dense, chocolaty, and delicious.
Salty, chocolaty, chalky, creamy— in that order— and a very pleasant overall experience. The salt definitely helps to preempt any would-be aftertaste undesirables, making each sip flow seamlessly to the next. Until there's no more.
A strapping meathook of buttery cream grabs you by the scruff of the neck and takes you on an adventure you won’t soon forget. It’s wilder than average, saltier than sweet, uniquely fascinating, and entirely delicious! I drank the whole pint before writing a single word (luckily I had 2 bottles)- so it effectively rendered me in a listless stupor— albeit slightly more alert than my default state. Touché.
Initially sweet with a (thankfully) fleeting earthiness to the cocoa flavor. Not bad for a skim version, but in the grand scheme of the chocolate milk universe, not good.
A nostril-flaring, nipple-hardening cocoa experience you will neither match nor forget; a must-have for any fan of chocolate, milk, or the luxurious confluence thereof. From bouquet to delicious cocoa nibs, to the mature aftertaste that satisfies yet beseeches the next sip: this will buzz you beyond the limits your morning french press. Outstanding.
The vanilla extract is definitely prominent, rivaling the cocoa flavor— which makes this a unique, if not slightly hollow chocolate milk experience.
Sweet, watery, and paper-thin in texture and flavor, albeit there’s no overt funkiness— a relatively praiseworthy feat for nonfat chocolate milks. I still can’t imagine a world where the slight amelioration of dietary impact is worth the wholesale forfeit of drinking enjoyment.
Well-balanced and highly drinkable chocolate milk that is congruent with its classy duo-tone old style carton. Don’t expect trendy flavors or textures here, just straight-up chocolate milk like you remember from your childhood.
Whole chocolate milk doesn’t need to take chances to be delicious. It’s slightly (and pleasantly) under-sweet, affording the chocolate flavor more of the limelight.
The cream coats your insides with a sagacity that one can only hope transmutes to the soul itself, providing a physically warm, intellectually cozy experience— bafflingly achieved through drinking a chilled liquid. Lo, the enigma of paradox!
