All in USA

Shatto Milk Company Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

Refreshingly smooth and chocolate-focused— the majority of the ‘flavor-spend’ seems dedicated to its cocoa profile. It could use a bit more support from a cream and salt perspective; I think what calories are ‘saved’ by drinking this instead of its full-fat counterpart are not nearly worth the flavor discrepancy, as Shatto’s whole chocolate milk is worldwide elite.

Shatto Milk Company Chocolate Mint Milk

Brimming with flavor— mint, chocolate, and cream remain prominent whilst languishing in delicate balance. The cool minty hit helps to slow the consumption rate, as it’s a fun and tasty sensation that you’ll continue to chase until exhaustion. To be clear, I mean the bottle’s exhaustion, not your own.

Hiland Chocolate Marshmallow Milk

Solid representation of what drinking a marshmallow would be like— so if that’s your charter, consider this a must-have. For everyone else, it’s a painfully sweet, much-more-marshmallow-than-chocolate experience, leaving you every bit as empty as the calories you just consumed.

Maple Hill Organic Chocolate Milk

Devastatingly focused on delivering a clean, true cocoa flavor that pairs exceedingly well with the cream to provide a top-flight drinking experience. There’s a salty bite and a fleeting but blissful grassy back-end that both feels like a reward, yet is rewarding in itself.

Woodruff Jersey Farm Chocolate Malt

As with Grace Harbor Farms, I like what I taste here, but just couldn’t get the cream to incorporate, even with super-vigorous shaking and manual stirring (I don’t have a blender). You’re either forced to chew some cream chunks (I’m not opposed) or ignore them and drink a super-thin, cream-deficient junior varsity version of what it could be.

Dugan Road Creamery Chocolate Milk

Punchy flavor swaddled in warmly creamy raiment: this kind of experience is everything one could hope to find on a worldwide chocolate milk odyssey! Expertly negotiates the balance of being indulgently satisfying, yet still leaving you wanting more. Much more.

Origin Chocolate Milk

Delicious from first sip to navel-gazing repose; it’s evident that great care went into the cocoa profile, both in the flavor and how to maintain its presence throughout the experience. The powerful cocoa flavor leaves an ephemeral chalky footprint— one that you’ll want to follow back to the fridge time and time again.

Shatto Milk Company Chocolate Cherry Milk

Cherry flavor rings in early and often throughout the sip, but careful attention has been paid to the sweetness level which remains muted but competently supportive— preventing a ‘candified’ mockery of the rare (in chocolate milk) choc-cherry combo. I believe it’s seasonal (Valentine’s Day), but worth your immediate pursuit— another winner from the peerless Shatto portfolio.

Kroger Private Selection Primo Pastures Belgian Chocolate Milk

A suitable alternative to main-lining Hershey’s chocolate syrup. It’s uber sweet, cumbersomely chalky, and powerfully chocolaty— but in a more sweet than bitter way. There’s an almost alcohol-like twang to the finish— as though chocolate liqueur was a major component of the flavor. In short, you CAN have too much of a good thing— and they’re trying way too hard here; it reeks more of desperation than aspiration.

KSU Chocolate Milk

Excellent creaminess with minimal viscosity— one of the most competent chocolate milks I’ve ever had in terms of this ratio. Both elegant and lithe, it drinks like a dream that you don’t want to wake from. Flavor-wise, it’s decidedly on the bland side, choosing to slow-play the cocoa flavor whilst keeping the sugar well at bay.

Mom's Organic Chocolate Milk

Confidently wild, luxuriously creamy, and exceedingly drinkable— the grass-fed cream is by far the star of the show here. Chocolate plays an understated, yet competent role, letting the cream flourish and the salt accentuate each draw like an ocean wave lapping the smoothly sun-bleached rocks of the Downeast Maine coast.