Fantastically smooth and silky texture, and a straightforward cocoa flavor that capitulates to a pleasant, mildly-salty flick at the end. It’s a pleasure to consume at any speed—sip/lap/guzzle/etc. and remains impressively effortless in its delivery.

Chocolaty in a way that many strive for, but few achieve. The gorgeous texture delivers cocoa with care and reverence, and the flavor deliciously violates its oral curfew— reinforcing the age-old trope that sometimes it feels good to be ‘bad.’

Buttery in the way that only creamline milk can achieve— this is a perfect paradigm of the cream-to-viscosity ratio that I value so much. The flavor disperses and sustains with silky uniformity that feels effortless yet highly rewarding. 

A legitimate onslaught of flavor— hyper-sweet, uber-salty, and surprisingly peanutty. Despite its heavy-handedness, once your tastebuds (and viscera) calibrate a few sips in, it’s an enjoyable detour from the traditional.

Flavorful and clean-finishing, it’s easy to burn through a pint on a warm Tennessee spring afternoon. It paints within the lines but delivers on its promise of sweet, chocolaty refuge.

Slightly thinner and less sharp than the its glassed counterpart, but still uncompromisingly chocolaty and direct.

Drinks like a warm, velveteen pat of cocoa butter and possesses the creamy ‘soul’ that so many chocolate milks have homogenized out. Definitely one to seek out when visiting Tennessee, the U.S., or for that matter, Earth.

Bold, confident cocoa punch that is straightforward and satisfying. A higher cream content might sustain the flavor a bit further, but your appreciation will surely last well beyond the final drop.

Earthy, flat, and noticeably aggregate— perhaps an excavation site in drinkable form— albeit with a deftly tuned sweetness level and otherwise palatable characteristics. It doesn’t take much to stand out in the ‘institutional’ market, but so far it’s a half step above the field.

Syrupy sweet and strongly flavorful, though in a caramel-like direction. There’s a stickiness to the after-experience that reduces to a cloying residue devoid of either chocolate or milkiness.

Refreshingly under-sweet, but also under-flavored and dare I say, rather bland— save for a muted but very pleasant maltiness that manages to peek out for a shy hello.

Refreshingly smooth and chocolate-focused— the majority of the ‘flavor-spend’ seems dedicated to its cocoa profile. It could use a bit more support from a cream and salt perspective; I think what calories are ‘saved’ by drinking this instead of its full-fat counterpart are not nearly worth the flavor discrepancy, as Shatto’s whole chocolate milk is worldwide elite.

Flavorful, albeit in a thoroughly sweet and faux-caramel sense. It’s thicker than necessary (for 1% lowfat) and finishes with a sticky sweetness that will scratch your sugary itch, possibly drawing blood in the process.

Brimming with flavor— mint, chocolate, and cream remain prominent whilst languishing in delicate balance. The cool minty hit helps to slow the consumption rate, as it’s a fun and tasty sensation that you’ll continue to chase until exhaustion. To be clear, I mean the bottle’s exhaustion, not your own.

Solid representation of what drinking a marshmallow would be like— so if that’s your charter, consider this a must-have. For everyone else, it’s a painfully sweet, much-more-marshmallow-than-chocolate experience, leaving you every bit as empty as the calories you just consumed.

Flat, by-the-numbers, within-the-lines chocolate milk flavor that benefits from its 2% base enough to crest the Mendoza line. It looks pretty and won’t challenge you for better or worse— perhaps the ideal mate for some.