All in USA
Beefy feel, and a nigh-stinging sweetness that ultimately dominates the cocoa, veering the Hershey’s-licensed flavor into its rightly ‘candified’ domain. It feels fortified, and carries a chalkiness that strays from its milky roots. Ultimately, you could do a lot worse from a taste perspective in the ‘fortified’ market— but when compared with elite chocolate milk, the flavor gap is much more pronounced than the protein gap.
Unique, in that the salt hits you before the sweet, and the cocoa flavor follows shortly thereafter (albeit briefly). It finishes cleanly, and may leave you searching for a deeper, more lasting chocolate experience. You could also convince yourself of a slightly ‘soapy’ aftertaste— though it’s still a positive experience throughout.
Exudes a confident simplicity that many of us long to attain— it’s extraordinarily well-balanced, prominently chocolaty, and an absolute dream to imbibe.
Punchy cocoa flavor accentuated by a salty snap that ensures a clean, wholly satisfying finish. On the texture side, its brilliant viscosity-to-creaminess ratio provides maximum drinkability perfect for any situation— post-morning-workout guzzle, mid-afternoon introspective procrastination, or after-dinner fireside confabulation. I endeavor to try them all.
Delicious potable representation of the reputed ‘mint-brownie’ in these parts. The cooling sensation strikes early in the sip, and refreshing mint flavor develops in the latter half— accompanied by strong dark chocolate throughout the journey. The flavors are expertly combined to provide that satisfying, rewarding feeling that you’re sure to get; do your best to bask in the moment.
Girthy, chalky, and a restrained flavor profile that deftly avoids funkiness. Drink this for its impressive characteristics if you must, but look elsewhere for more hedonistic pursuits.
Painfully sweet, in a way that marks so many cookies ’n’ cream milks— causing me to postulate that perhaps the two are inseparable, or inevitable. The sweetness lasts well beyond the swallow and devolves to an unwelcome lining that you’ll seek to remedy. Sugar-rush seekers, this may be your calling card— all others, have ice cream instead.
Highlighted by a mature, slightly earthy cocoa flavor that remains the focus throughout. There’s a slight astringent quality to the texture that seems to increase your oral cavity’s friction coefficient, though this is remedied by taking further draws, enabling you to postpone the sensation until the pint is exhausted. Points for uniqueness.
Fantastically smooth and silky texture, and a straightforward cocoa flavor that capitulates to a pleasant, mildly-salty flick at the end. It’s a pleasure to consume at any speed—sip/lap/guzzle/etc. and remains impressively effortless in its delivery.
Chocolaty in a way that many strive for, but few achieve. The gorgeous texture delivers cocoa with care and reverence, and the flavor deliciously violates its oral curfew— reinforcing the age-old trope that sometimes it feels good to be ‘bad.’
Buttery in the way that only creamline milk can achieve— this is a perfect paradigm of the cream-to-viscosity ratio that I value so much. The flavor disperses and sustains with silky uniformity that feels effortless yet highly rewarding.
Substantially built with a buttery, creamy payoff that feels authentic and accentuates the cocoa masterfully.
A legitimate onslaught of flavor— hyper-sweet, uber-salty, and surprisingly peanutty. Despite its heavy-handedness, once your tastebuds (and viscera) calibrate a few sips in, it’s an enjoyable detour from the traditional.
Coarse, chocolaty, and a not-quite-‘soapy’ sourness that distracts from the rest of the flavors. It’s appropriately under-sweet and responsible feeling— it’s just held back by the odd competing flavor that pulls you out of the experience.
Flavorful and clean-finishing, it’s easy to burn through a pint on a warm Tennessee spring afternoon. It paints within the lines but delivers on its promise of sweet, chocolaty refuge.
Slightly thinner and less sharp than the its glassed counterpart, but still uncompromisingly chocolaty and direct.
Drinks like a warm, velveteen pat of cocoa butter and possesses the creamy ‘soul’ that so many chocolate milks have homogenized out. Definitely one to seek out when visiting Tennessee, the U.S., or for that matter, Earth.
Bold, confident cocoa punch that is straightforward and satisfying. A higher cream content might sustain the flavor a bit further, but your appreciation will surely last well beyond the final drop.
Earthy, flat, and noticeably aggregate— perhaps an excavation site in drinkable form— albeit with a deftly tuned sweetness level and otherwise palatable characteristics. It doesn’t take much to stand out in the ‘institutional’ market, but so far it’s a half step above the field.
Syrupy sweet and strongly flavorful, though in a caramel-like direction. There’s a stickiness to the after-experience that reduces to a cloying residue devoid of either chocolate or milkiness.
