Slightly less sweet than expected, which affords the (very average) cocoa flavor to sparkle just a second longer than it otherwise would. It's fairly balanced, fairly boring, and overall, a gnat's ass on the good side of fair.
All in USA
Dairystar Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Dead-center, unoffensive, competent but somehow incapable. What do you expect for a Holiday Inn Express breakfast bar? By now, I know exactly what to expect, and this is it. Fulfills modest expectations, and saps motivation from your soul and replaces it with liquid mediocrity. Trying to say something interesting about something uninteresting.
Bettergoods Organic Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly balanced with a slight emphasis on cocoa and salt. This stands out among its organic, UHT peers in a good way-- there's a little more depth to the flavor than usual, though it still maintains the sour-ish, almost earthy cocoa presence that is representative of the genre. It certainly scratches the chocolate milk itch, and would be a welcome addition to your bagged lunch (no refrigeration necessary)-- but drink it slowly, as 8oz goes fast.
United Dairy Whole Chocolate Milk (2024)
Smooth and drinkable, with a more pronounced vanilla bent to the flavor as opposed to chocolate; it's about as chocolaty as it looks, which isn't much. There's cloying bite to the sweetness, likely the HFCS registering and then lingering on the palate beyond its welcome. You could do better, you could do a lot worse-- this is bottom-tier whole chocolate milk that gets the job done in a pinch-- but best not to find yourself in said pinch in the first place.
Lutheridge Jersey Farm Chocolate Milk
Knocks it out of the park on all levels-- luxurious, slightly grassy, buttery Jersey cream adorned with a punchy cooca flavor, a sweet/salty balance that favors the latter, and a velvety viscosity that disperses the goodness rapidly and evenly across all surfaces fortunate enough to partake. This is my first time trying this-- I already can't wait for the next.
Good & Gather Organic Lowfat Chocolate Milk
It's hard to say something interesting about something uninteresting-- so I won't try. It tastes exactly what you'd expect lowfat, ultra-high temp pasteurized, mass-produced chocolate milk to taste like-- inoffensively un-chocolaty, forgettably thin, pleasantly smooth, and blandly balanced. If mediocrity was the goal, they knocked it out of the park.
Van Grouw Family Farm Chocolate Milk
Beefy creamline body that is asked to handle a lot of cocoa flavor, and it does so magnificently. The bold, medium cocoa presence adds to the girth and comes with a bit of a texture on the back end- but it still feels copacetic and is enjoyable to the last drop. Sweetness is kept to a supporting role, which furthers the chocolaty/creamy punch and lets it shine in the aftertaste. Excellent stuff.
L William Fairman Dairy Chocolate Milk
Delicious, sharp-ish malty flavor resonates throughout, seemingly in lieu of a cocoa flavor-- sounds like a knock, but it's actually very tasty. The salty/malty flavor pairs well with the (relatively) thin viscosity and lovely creamline base. Fans of chocolate malt- take notice-- this will not disappoint.
Lane's End Farm Creamery Chocolate Milk
Remarkably subtle-- and that's not a euphamism for bland. Upon first sip, its extremely lithe yet creamy base dances on the palate and leaves you with dark-ish cocoa footprints that form a cumulative indulgence rarely experienced in potable dairy confection. There's a maturity to the experience-- led by the uniquely delicious cocoa flavor, and enhanced by its confidence to challenge two traditionally commonly held chocolate milk paradigms-- (1) sweetness ie essential [false], and (2) the thicker the better [also false]. Drink this with deliberation, savor each sip, and be better for the experience.
The Creamery at Burley Berries & Blooms Chocolate Milk
Buttery, creamy, chocolaty, salty, grassy-- not necessarily in that order, but I'm doing my best to gather my thoughts after a mind-blowing experience. This is a glove-like fit for my personal tastes and proclivities, and it just gets everything right. There's nothing more rewarding than the deliciously warm, grassy afterglow on the back end of a fully-burdened cream flavor-- a reward that feels earned after many hundreds of pedestrian chocolate milks-- not pedestrian because they tried to be, but because they failed to try. Bravo.
The Creamery at Knob Farm Raw Chocolate Milk
Tastes and drinks very much like its pasteurized counterpart-- it's highlighted by a heavy sweetness (first) and a substantial cocoa flavor (second) that peaks early and stays late. The thin viscosity helps to deliver the flavor quickly and fully thorughout the mouth, which may feel a bit overwhelming for those expecting something a bit more subtle.
The Creamery at Knob Farm Chocolate Coconut Milk
Wow- bold and very defined coconut flavor-- it's definitely the main feature here. It's still very sweet, but there's synergy with the (supporting) cocoa flavor atop the agile creamline base. The bouquet is impressive as well-- it smells like an appetizing sunscreen (if such a thing existed) and is sure to give you a unique drinkable dairy experience!
The Creamery at Knob Farm S'mores Milk
Powerful caramel flavor upfront that lasts until the end-- tastes much more like a salted caramel / chocolate mixture with a heavy dose of sweetness than it does S'mores (chocolate / marshmallow / graham cracker). For my tastes, it's far too sweet, and the caramel-like flavor is distractingly strong. It's the first and only S'mores milk I've ever tried, so I very much appreciate the innovation and novelty here, but the execution is a bit off for my tastes.
The Creamery at Knob Farm Cookies & Cream Milk
A uniquely chocolate-forward cookies & cream flavor, which is a pleasant departure from the typical flavor profile-- if I didn't see the label, I would've assumed this was straight up chocolate milk. It's sweeter than it is chocolaty, and that is the prevailing presence in the early and late stages of the sip, with cocoa peaking in the middle.
The Creamery at Knob Farm Chocolate Milk
Beautifully thin and smooth creamline body with a substantially sweet and chocolaty punch dominating the experience. The hefty cocoa presence remains throughout, and if you've got a sweet tooth, this stuff will definitely find it.
Clover Valley Lactose Free Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Whoa-- way more sweet than I was expecting-- it was actually so powerfully cloying that it stung the back of the throat. I have to assume that this is not intentional and I got a particularly heavy-handed batch-- as I've had lots of this genre and it has never registered as painfully sweet. In an effort to look past that, there is a decent cocoa flavor (and gorgeous dark brown coloration) that is getting drowned out by the sugary onslaught. Texture-wise, it's got a bit of grit from the cocoa presence (again, which seems above and beyond for the lactose free, private-label genre,which I appreciate) and feels substantial and congruent with its 2% base. If you've got a sweet tooth, this will find it, and rot it out.
Mapes Farm Fresh Chocolate Milk
From the drop-dead gorgeous look of the unshaken bottle (chocolate at bottom, cream at top) to the excellent high-creaminess-to-thin-viscosity ratio, this is a uniquely delicious treat that drinks quickly (gone before you know it) and truly leaves you wanting more. The sweet/salty balance is finely tuned, the texture is fantastically lithe, and the cocoa presence is tasty and light. Perhaps the creamy base could shoulder more cooca flavor, or maybe that's me getting overzealous. I do have a problem, after all.
Shamrock Farms Reduced Fat Cookies 'n Cream Milk
Smooth and well balanced on all fronts-- delivering an accurate and tasty cookies & cream flavor. This has done well to keep the sweetness to a manageable level and not try to do 'too much'-- which a lot of chocolate-adjacent milks tend to do. I appreciate the competence and once again the balance-- I'm surprised that this is a limited edition by Shamrock Farms, as it ranks (to me) as one of the better offerings they've come up with to date.
The Reedsville Creamery Chocolate Peanut Butter Milk
Unfortunately, this one has turned to the dark side well before its 'sell by' date-- perhaps it was handled poorly in transit or by the retailer. I will look for another opportunity to review this in the near future. Of course I took a sip anyway (can't help myself). It was rough.
Country Creamery Chocolate Milk
Beefy and delicious creamline body that carries a bright, modeslty earthy cocoa flavor across the palate and into a brief but enjoyable aftertaste. The salty/sweet balance feels right and the only thing to gripe about is the fact that the bottle isn't bottomless.