Humboldt Creamery Organic Chocolate Milk

Strikes a fantastic balance of thinner viscosity with remarkable creaminess—perhaps the hardest thing to get ‘right’ for so many producers. It’s delicious and sophisticated feeling, though light on actual cocoa flavor. The ‘blindfold test’ might have more people guessing ‘vanilla’ as the flavor, but it remains a worthwhile pursuit for the chocolate milk enthusiast.

Clover Sonoma Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

Fairly chocolaty, modestly sweet, but a shockingly unnatural mouthfeel. It doesn't distribute like milk should (especially 2%— which should retain a noticeably creamy element). Perhaps this would be better taken through a straw, but after 2 glasses of searching for things to like, I’m left bloated and unsatisfied.

Sunnyside Farms Chocolate Milk

Less salty, and slightly less flavorful than its plastic-bottle, artificially flavored counterpart, but no less enjoyable. The cocoa flavor is a tad more available here, and despite a more muted profile, it delivers creamy indulgence that you expect from a whole chocolate milk.

Crystal Lowfat Chocolate Milk

A fairly strong saltiness suggests an almost peanut-buttery flavor upfront, especially since the chocolate piece never quite comes around. It's a tad thick for a low fat product, and despite some starch, the unique flavor held my attention throughout the entire pint.

Ildong Foodis & Up Cafe Choco Latte

Extreme levels of cocoa flavor and sweetness— which doesn’t make for a well-balanced drink. It’s way too much, particularly the sweetness, especially without a cream or salt to help keep it in check. This has lots of flavor, and for fans of the uber-sweet— this could be your deal. As for me, I’m going to brush my teeth straight away.

Vita 200% Chocolate Low Fat Milk

Strong cocoa flavor, but severely lacking accompaniment (creaminess, in particular) that could elevate the experience dramatically. Instead, you’ve got a watery-feeling boxed drink claiming ‘200% chocolate’— when the ingredients read: (1) water; (2) sugar; (3) milk solids; (4) cocoa powder…

Pauls Chocolate Milk

Sweet, milky, and under-chocolaty, but rather pleasant, and decently natural feeling for a shelf-stable, boxed item. It won’t light your tastebuds on fire, but it also won’t be the last thing you reach for in the fridge (or even off the shelf).

Cheer Fat Free Chocolate Milk

Feels more syrupy than milky— not only texture-wise, but the flavor is also more of an empty sweetness than one of chocolate. It checks the box for the waning populace to whom the phrase ‘fat free’ still holds cachet— but this is yet another example of nonfat chocolate milk attempting to please everyone, whilst effectively pleasing no one.