Smooth, but egregiously bland. There's not much point to drinking this, unless your tongue is on fire-- and in that case, you have bigger problems than flavorless chocolate milk.
Slate Chocolate Milk
Overpowering faux take-your-medicine-esque sweetness with little relief to follow. You're left with an unnatural aftertaste and drying residue-- no semblance of chocolate or milk to be found. The label recommends you to 'shamelessly chug away'-- and I agree, as you'll want to limit the amount of tastebud contact as best you can.
KDD Chocolate Milk
Deeply chocolaty with well-balanced sweet and salty levels-- tasty right out of the box upon first sip. There's a significant chalky component which lingers on the tongue post-swallow, but for reconstituted UHT chocolate milk, this more than does the job.
Rica Choco Rica Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Sweet and chocolaty right off the bat, but hampered by a resounding UHT-twang that is not 'exactly' like, but adjacent to, a fake-butter flavor (compared to a real butter flavor). This quality persists into the aftertaste, and is distractingly unique, but at least memorable.
Ultrajaya Ultra Milk Susu Rasa Cokelat
Decent texture for a boxed chocolate milk, but carries a noticeable 'cooked milk' flavor from the ultra pasteurization. It drinks pretty well and will satisfy in a pinch-- but probably best not to be in said pinch in the first place.
Stonyfield Organic Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Shockingly sweet upon first draw, aided in part by the thin viscosity-- which delivers a quick sugary rush with later-developing cocoa presence and moderately-drying chalky footprint. For an organic, shelf-stable, lactose free chocolate milk, it gets the job done and would add a crowning touch to the bog-standard bagged lunch.
Richlands Dairy and Creamery Chocolate Milk
Powerfully straightforward deliciousness-- this is a premium version of what we all expect great chocolate milk to be-- chocolaty, sweet, and densely flavorful. It nails all those beats, a true melted-chocolate-ice cream proxy, and is both indulgent and satisfying from beginning to end.
Nice Farms Creamery Chocolate Milk
Paralyzingly creamy from initial contact through to blissful repose-- it has one of the most luxurious textures I've had the pleasure of experiencing to date, gilding any and all surfaces with buttery Jersey cream. Flavorwise, it leans more malty than overtly chocolaty. Its warm afterglow lasts minutes beyond the pint; I suspect that the impact on your soul will last significantly beyond that.
Nature's Promise Organic Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Solid cocoa focus with a pinch of salt at the end which accentuates the cream and nicely rounds off each sip. There's a spot of powderiness / chalk a couple seconds after the swallow but when not paired with a lingering funk, it's rather forgettable.
Broom's Bloom Dairy Chocolate Milk
Delicious straightforward cocoa flavor with little distraction-- it drinks quickly and distributes naturally, with a somewhat fleeting aftertaste for creamline milk-- granted, the aftertaste that remains is a lightly dusty cocoa footprint that whets your appetite for more.
Lewes Dairy Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Sweet and really nothing else. There's no way anyone would identify this as 'chocolate' if blindfolded. A syrupy vanilla flavor is really the only standout flavor characteristic, and the texture is smooth and milky-adjacent, but not quite there either.
Lewes Dairy Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Less overtly sweet than the lowfat version, but same textural woes (sticky, almost-milky) and similar vanilla-forward, blandish flavor that is way under-indexed in cocoa flavor. Sometimes, that can still be good, but not in this case, as there's sadly nothing else worthy of your attention.
Lewes Dairy Chocolate Milk
Allegedly 'whole' chocolate milk according to the nutrition facts, but you wouldn't know it. It suffers the same flavor struggles as the lowfat and reduced fat versions, just not giving the drinker any reason to continue aside from a quick sugar rush.
Wawa Cookies and Cream Milk
Reformulated from the previous version, this is every bit as sickly sweet as before, albeit with improved visuals (from what I can remember) and a thin texture built for speed rather than comfort. Sugar junkies, seek this stuff out, but it's way too distractingly sweet for me to recommend in good faith.
Grube's Dairy Chocolate Milk
Delicious base that almost profiles like a non-homogenous one, but it delivers and maintains a medium-intensity cocoa flavor with competence and grace. Tiny bit of cocoa grit at the end of some sips, which I certainly don't mind-- just a tactile reminder of the otherwise smooth, creamy, and satisfying treat.
Rutter's Chocolate Peanut Butter Milk
Points for accuracy here, it tastes a lot like a peanut butter cup and is nicely restrained in a way that works to its benefit. The reduced fat base is neither pushed to its limits nor exposed-- it rests confidently in the background as the chocolate and peanut butter flavors tell their story.
Twilight Acres Chocolate Milk
Awesome creamline base that carries a more salty/malty indulgence than that of chocolate-- but you're unlikely to mind, as it's well-balanced and easy to drink in perpetuity.
Way-Har Farms Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Same unique flavor profile to the whole version (noticeably less-sweet, and unique toasted marshmallow-esque flavor), this 2% port is a fantastic use of its calories, should that be a concern. It's slightly thinner and has less creamy sustain than it's full-fat counterpart, but this easily outpaces some of the big-brand whole chocolate milks that you might find in your local supermarket.
Way-Har Farms Chocolate Milk
Confidently under-sweet, such that the slightly earthy cocoa flavor shines off the bat, and the warm, mildly salty cream rounds out each sip. A very novel flavor profile and drinking experience which is always appreciated!
Miller's Organic Farm Raw Chocolate Milk
Moderately chocolaty and lightly malty, it drinks quickly due the the thinness but leaves a delicious wild, creamy repose on your tastebuds for a long time after each sip. For me, I enjoy the aftertaste every bit even more than the upfront taste, which is on the mild side. This is the real deal-- raw milk as it comes out of the cow, so don't expect it to be like the mass-produced stuff you might find on supermarket shelves.