Much flatter than its lighter counterpart, the sledgehammer of fake sweetness is significantly mitigated here-- allowing for some actual cocoa flavor to poke through. There's still an issue with the chalky / drying texture here but that's not terribly uncommon among protein-fortified drinks. A clear winner among the Slate portfolio, but still won't compare favorably to even the most average of chocolate milks.
Smooth, but egregiously bland. There's not much point to drinking this, unless your tongue is on fire-- and in that case, you have bigger problems than flavorless chocolate milk.
Overpowering faux take-your-medicine-esque sweetness with little relief to follow. You're left with an unnatural aftertaste and drying residue-- no semblance of chocolate or milk to be found. The label recommends you to 'shamelessly chug away'-- and I agree, as you'll want to limit the amount of tastebud contact as best you can.
Deeply chocolaty with well-balanced sweet and salty levels-- tasty right out of the box upon first sip. There's a significant chalky component which lingers on the tongue post-swallow, but for reconstituted UHT chocolate milk, this more than does the job.
Sweet and chocolaty right off the bat, but hampered by a resounding UHT-twang that is not 'exactly' like, but adjacent to, a fake-butter flavor (compared to a real butter flavor). This quality persists into the aftertaste, and is distractingly unique, but at least memorable.
Decent texture for a boxed chocolate milk, but carries a noticeable 'cooked milk' flavor from the ultra pasteurization. It drinks pretty well and will satisfy in a pinch-- but probably best not to be in said pinch in the first place.
Shockingly sweet upon first draw, aided in part by the thin viscosity-- which delivers a quick sugary rush with later-developing cocoa presence and moderately-drying chalky footprint. For an organic, shelf-stable, lactose free chocolate milk, it gets the job done and would add a crowning touch to the bog-standard bagged lunch.
Powerfully straightforward deliciousness-- this is a premium version of what we all expect great chocolate milk to be-- chocolaty, sweet, and densely flavorful. It nails all those beats, a true melted-chocolate-ice cream proxy, and is both indulgent and satisfying from beginning to end.
Paralyzingly creamy from initial contact through to blissful repose-- it has one of the most luxurious textures I've had the pleasure of experiencing to date, gilding any and all surfaces with buttery Jersey cream. Flavorwise, it leans more malty than overtly chocolaty. Its warm afterglow lasts minutes beyond the pint; I suspect that the impact on your soul will last significantly beyond that.
Solid cocoa focus with a pinch of salt at the end which accentuates the cream and nicely rounds off each sip. There's a spot of powderiness / chalk a couple seconds after the swallow but when not paired with a lingering funk, it's rather forgettable.
Delicious straightforward cocoa flavor with little distraction-- it drinks quickly and distributes naturally, with a somewhat fleeting aftertaste for creamline milk-- granted, the aftertaste that remains is a lightly dusty cocoa footprint that whets your appetite for more.
Sweet and really nothing else. There's no way anyone would identify this as 'chocolate' if blindfolded. A syrupy vanilla flavor is really the only standout flavor characteristic, and the texture is smooth and milky-adjacent, but not quite there either.
Less overtly sweet than the lowfat version, but same textural woes (sticky, almost-milky) and similar vanilla-forward, blandish flavor that is way under-indexed in cocoa flavor. Sometimes, that can still be good, but not in this case, as there's sadly nothing else worthy of your attention.
Allegedly 'whole' chocolate milk according to the nutrition facts, but you wouldn't know it. It suffers the same flavor struggles as the lowfat and reduced fat versions, just not giving the drinker any reason to continue aside from a quick sugar rush.
Reformulated from the previous version, this is every bit as sickly sweet as before, albeit with improved visuals (from what I can remember) and a thin texture built for speed rather than comfort. Sugar junkies, seek this stuff out, but it's way too distractingly sweet for me to recommend in good faith.
Delicious base that almost profiles like a non-homogenous one, but it delivers and maintains a medium-intensity cocoa flavor with competence and grace. Tiny bit of cocoa grit at the end of some sips, which I certainly don't mind-- just a tactile reminder of the otherwise smooth, creamy, and satisfying treat.
Points for accuracy here, it tastes a lot like a peanut butter cup and is nicely restrained in a way that works to its benefit. The reduced fat base is neither pushed to its limits nor exposed-- it rests confidently in the background as the chocolate and peanut butter flavors tell their story.
Awesome creamline base that carries a more salty/malty indulgence than that of chocolate-- but you're unlikely to mind, as it's well-balanced and easy to drink in perpetuity.
Same unique flavor profile to the whole version (noticeably less-sweet, and unique toasted marshmallow-esque flavor), this 2% port is a fantastic use of its calories, should that be a concern. It's slightly thinner and has less creamy sustain than it's full-fat counterpart, but this easily outpaces some of the big-brand whole chocolate milks that you might find in your local supermarket.
Confidently under-sweet, such that the slightly earthy cocoa flavor shines off the bat, and the warm, mildly salty cream rounds out each sip. A very novel flavor profile and drinking experience which is always appreciated!
