Lapp Valley Farm Chocolate Milk

Akin to drinking salted, melted chocolate ice cream— if I didn't hate the words so much, I would use ‘hearty’ and ‘robust’ in the review— but I won’t despite their germaneness. Lovers of thick, creamy chocolate milk look no further.

Giant Low Fat Chocolate Milk

Inoffensive, uninteresting, non-essential. Plays like standard low-fat chocolate milk and leaves you with a minor drying sensation after the sip— unless that was induced by lip-smacking in an attempt to locate a flavor that simply wasn’t there.

Weis Chocolate Milk

Strongly flavorful but fairly misguided in its approach. You’re hammered with a syrupy sweet, caramel flavor that lingers on the palate and doesn’t foster the 'whole chocolate milk' experience you expect.

Manning Farm Dairy Chocolate Milk

Thickly creamy, and confidently chocolaty— a true dessert-like treat in liquid form. It’s rather filling, both from a spiritual and intestinal standpoint, and will be my stock answer going forward when asked, “What can you get for a dollar anymore?”

Hillside Farms Chocolate Milk

The cream melts in your mouth like a warm pat of honey butter, leaving you with a chocolate flavor that is straightforward and more of an adornment to its other characteristics (primarily the cream and salt/sweet balance). You won’t want the experience to end.

Wegmans Organic Lowfat Chocolate Milk

Intriguing cocoa flavor that drops hints of sourness before vanishing into the ether. The taste is preferable to the texture, which is on the thicker/starchier side. All in all, a unique chocolate milk that is a pleasant addition to the under-served UHT market in the States.

Bailys Dairy Chocolate Milk

Perhaps the utmost paragon of the low-viscosity, high-creaminess ratio that I hold dear! Its luxuriously creamy texture disperses naturally and uniformly, delivering a choco-maltiness that is as delicious as it is unique. You owe it your mouth to gift it this experience.