All in USA
Unsettlingly girthy and sweet beyond what the law should allow. I peeled off the label and was expecting to see ‘Diabetes in a Jug’ underneath. It’s far too thick and sugary to attempt to discern other flavors and properties, frankly, if you’re past the age of 11, I can’t in good faith recommend.
Luxuriously smooth with a full-mouth cocoa payoff that lasts well beyond each draw. Its effortless base aces the viscosity-to-creaminess ratio and exudes indulgence upon every surface it touches.
Excellent cream factor grabs you up front and engages in cooperation (not competition) with the cocoa flavor to bring you a sophisticated, layered chocolate milk experience that so many fail to attain.
Flavorfully dense, with layers of cream and chocolate, punctuated throughout by a salty snap that intensifies the experience and yet keeps the aftertaste concise and true. There’s a punch to the flavor and a depth to the cream that lights the path to indulgence.
Phenomenal drinking experience, from first contact to lasting afterglow to panicked frenzy when you realize there’s no more left. It nails the viscosity-to-creaminess ratio and meanwhile delivers outstanding choco-malt flavor unabated to your soul.
Brilliantly creamy base with a nontraditional cookies & cream flavor that is sweet upfront but exits with a mildly sooty footprint.
A creamy, confidently malty experience not to be overlooked. The base feels slightly less dense than its Hillcrest Dairy cousin, but the cream disperses magnificently and all in all a highly satisfying package.
Nothing to see here— not in the clichéd cover-up way, but literally, there’s nothing worth your attention in regards to this product. The fact that it’s made available to institutions so they can ‘offer’ chocolate milk is great, but ultimately does the genre reputational damage for those who assume this to be standard.
Abundantly flavorful and an aftertaste that remains true, and yet leaves you wanting more. There’s a warmness to the cream that feels like a fleece sweater on a chilly morning— exactly what you need.
Impressively well-balanced, mature flavor with a clean, satisfying finish. Its 1% base seems maximally leveraged to provide a surprisingly (and inspiringly) indulgent payoff. Definitely one of the best low-fat chocolate milks I’ve had in a long time.
Commendable ratio of cocoa flavor-to-sweetness, which goes down smoothly save for a slight drying of the mouth. It manages to stand out by being pleasantly understated— paradoxical as that might sound— reminding us that everything is possible through chocolate milk.
Somewhat dull cocoa flavor supported by a competent saltiness, and delivered through a fairly dense, not-quite-milky medium.
Beefy feel, and a nigh-stinging sweetness that ultimately dominates the cocoa, veering the Hershey’s-licensed flavor into its rightly ‘candified’ domain. It feels fortified, and carries a chalkiness that strays from its milky roots. Ultimately, you could do a lot worse from a taste perspective in the ‘fortified’ market— but when compared with elite chocolate milk, the flavor gap is much more pronounced than the protein gap.
Unique, in that the salt hits you before the sweet, and the cocoa flavor follows shortly thereafter (albeit briefly). It finishes cleanly, and may leave you searching for a deeper, more lasting chocolate experience. You could also convince yourself of a slightly ‘soapy’ aftertaste— though it’s still a positive experience throughout.
Exudes a confident simplicity that many of us long to attain— it’s extraordinarily well-balanced, prominently chocolaty, and an absolute dream to imbibe.
Punchy cocoa flavor accentuated by a salty snap that ensures a clean, wholly satisfying finish. On the texture side, its brilliant viscosity-to-creaminess ratio provides maximum drinkability perfect for any situation— post-morning-workout guzzle, mid-afternoon introspective procrastination, or after-dinner fireside confabulation. I endeavor to try them all.
Delicious potable representation of the reputed ‘mint-brownie’ in these parts. The cooling sensation strikes early in the sip, and refreshing mint flavor develops in the latter half— accompanied by strong dark chocolate throughout the journey. The flavors are expertly combined to provide that satisfying, rewarding feeling that you’re sure to get; do your best to bask in the moment.
Girthy, chalky, and a restrained flavor profile that deftly avoids funkiness. Drink this for its impressive characteristics if you must, but look elsewhere for more hedonistic pursuits.
Painfully sweet, in a way that marks so many cookies ’n’ cream milks— causing me to postulate that perhaps the two are inseparable, or inevitable. The sweetness lasts well beyond the swallow and devolves to an unwelcome lining that you’ll seek to remedy. Sugar-rush seekers, this may be your calling card— all others, have ice cream instead.
Highlighted by a mature, slightly earthy cocoa flavor that remains the focus throughout. There’s a slight astringent quality to the texture that seems to increase your oral cavity’s friction coefficient, though this is remedied by taking further draws, enabling you to postpone the sensation until the pint is exhausted. Points for uniqueness.
