All tagged 3.0
Fairly odd stuff, even for the chocolate-adjacent category. It's as though you spilled a cup of cornstarch in your hours-old mug of Folgers. Doesn't have a ton of flavor, but what's there is decidedly more coffee than cocoa. It's undersweet, undersalty, undercreamy, and overstarchy. On the plus side, you could probably use this as the goopy paste in your next paper maché project.
Thick, sludgy, and paralyzingly sweet-- it looks better than it tastes and exudes a bit of 'heat' on the palate that feels weird. Good chocolate milk rarely comes in aluminum cans-- and it never comes in a can that looks like this.
Syrupy-sweet and physically drying on the back end-- not a mouthfeel that dreams are made of. You have to look pretty hard to locate any legitimate cocoa flavor, and you'll likely want to call off the search before anything is found. There are much better options sold by the gallon, including (but not limited to) distilled water.
Very muted flavor-- has an almost diluted quality to it, and while it's largely unoffensive-- it's far from moving the needle in any positive direction. Initially smooth, it finishes with a chalky, drying lilt and predictably flat aftertaste. I'll concede that the packaging looks cool-- but if it's what's on the inside that counts, this doesn't belong among polite society.
Strong enough cocoa presence to challenge (not quite 'mitigate') the metallic / fortified flavor, and thankfully the stevia is dialed to an appropriate level-- avoiding the telltale 'twang' that typically accompanies it. Texture-wise, it's an odd combination of thin yet deeply chalky-- it won't feel terribly unfamiliar, but it remains several standard deviations away from desirable.
As a closet Ensure apologist (don't tell anyone) this is largely similar in texture and flavor to its grown-up (elderly?) counterpart. There's a definite 'vitamin-y' quality to the flavor, but the sweet-salty balance is decent and there's enough fat content to usher each sip toward a satisfying conclusion provided your expectations are adequately tempered.
Overly thick and chalky with an ok cocoa hit that can't quite cover the cooked milk flavor. Despite its gorgeous dark brown visage, there's not much more to enjoy unless you've got a serious penchant for soulless, stabilizer-riddled dairy.
Sweet and really nothing else. There's no way anyone would identify this as 'chocolate' if blindfolded. A syrupy vanilla flavor is really the only standout flavor characteristic, and the texture is smooth and milky-adjacent, but not quite there either.
Surprisingly well-represented dark chocolate flavor over a paper-thin base that is quickly overmatched and incapable of doing the cocoa justice. Each sip imparts a warming sensation in the mouth that may precipitate salivation to clear it away. The packaging is gorgeous, the flavor unique, and the execution ultimately strays from 'indulgence' and instead leans toward 'interesting novelty that I don't need to have again.'
Mild cookies ‘n cream flavor delivered through an uber-smooth medium that feels a touch unnatural. On the positive side, the artificial sweeteners don’t go overboard here, which is surprising, as cookies ’n cream drinks are prone to that affliction. It doesn’t move the genre forward, but provides another vehicle to get that much needed acesulfame potassium and Sucralose in your diet.
Sweet, carton-like flavor in a thickened, quasi-milky base. Hotel breakfast bars, schools, hospitals, prisons, and other institutions deserve better chocolate milk.
Sweet, chalky, and candied chocolate taste— differs from real chocolate milk in the way that a fudgesicle differs from ice cream. It’s definitely not light on flavor, just feels overly sweet and artificial.
Initially sweet with a (thankfully) fleeting earthiness to the cocoa flavor. Not bad for a skim version, but in the grand scheme of the chocolate milk universe, not good.
Nastily and distractingly sweet with a unnatural crescendo in the latter half of the sip. The texture is chalky and under-milky, even for 1%. This isn’t good, folks.
Its dull gray appearance translates seamlessly to the flavor— it’s under chocolaty, over-carton-y, and highlighted by a sweet, adhesive-like note— akin to licking those envelopes that are mildly sweetened. On the plus side, it’s very smooth, so it won’t clog your sink drain when disposing of it.
The sweeteners seem to be in competition and ultimately dominate the experience. A honey-like note kicks off the sip, but by the end, you have a saliva-inducing essence plaguing your tongue. In the interim, there’s too much chalk and not enough cocoa to salvage a respectable score.
Bland and unoffensive, very smooth and drinkable for a nonfat chocolate milk. It’s hard to get excited about it, but there are much worse skim options out there that try too hard to be something they are not.
Rather bland with a nearly minty essence to the latter half of the sip. Reminiscent of that emoji that has the flat horizontal lines for its eyes and mouth.
Boringly flat, otherwise relatively unoffensive for nonfat chocolate milk. There’s no curious flavors (good or bad), and drinking any more than a thimbleful is likely to be unsatisfying.
Sweet, dusty cocoa taste with a chalky conclusion, this is far from the worst fat free chocolate milk I’ve had. It’s palatable in small amounts, and gets better with repetition, yet still far from something you’d reach for to serve hedonistic pursuits.
