All tagged 3.5
Decidedly uninspired and uninspiriing-- mild cocoa flavor stretched thinly over a lowfat, no-frills base. There's a slight salty quality which fortunately surfaces above the sweetness, but it's not satisfying in any regard and leaves you with an unnatural astringency in the mouth-- not a great feeling while you're looking in the fridge for a chaser.
Ultra-smooth, and very noticeably ultra-pasteurized. The cooked milk flavor is more prominent than anything else, and the 'chocolate' side of it seems to impact the coloration (which is albeit still light) than the flavor-- where it's almost entirely absent. It doesn't take much to realize it's an empty experience, and should be sold by the thimbleful rather than quart.
Fairly drab with a sharpish saltiness that causes your tongue to water toward the tip-- not much cocoa presence and the base feels watered down and somewhat depleted. It's a stopgap at best, an underwhelming representation of chocolate milk at worst. Leaning toward 'worst' here.
The enjoyment peaks early on in the sip with the initial rush of cocoa and moderate sweetness-- but it quickly abates in favor of an intrusive stevia wave-- not quite sharp enough to call it a 'twang'-- but it wrests control of the flavor throughout the 2nd and 3rd trimester-- leaving you with an unsatisfying and slightly drying aftertaste.
Am I missing something here? Grass fed, creamline chocolate milk is right up my alley, but this unfortunately misses on so many levels. I'm left to suppose that I got a bad batch(?)-- though it's decidedly not spoiled (I've had enough of those to know). The flavor is highlighted by a syrupy funk that does not deliver cocoa, cream, malt, or any other desirable characteristics often found in chocolate milk.
Very unique combination-- a thick, creamy body with understated, but twangy non-sugar sweetness. Cocoa is hard to locate and takes a back seat to the sweetener and relatively prominent cooked milk flavor. The aftertaste leaves an unsatisfying coating in the mouth, but for just 1g sugar, it sort of feels like a 'win.'
Reformulated from the previous version, this is every bit as sickly sweet as before, albeit with improved visuals (from what I can remember) and a thin texture built for speed rather than comfort. Sugar junkies, seek this stuff out, but it's way too distractingly sweet for me to recommend in good faith.
Nothing to see here— not in the clichéd cover-up way, but literally, there’s nothing worth your attention in regards to this product. The fact that it’s made available to institutions so they can ‘offer’ chocolate milk is great, but ultimately does the genre reputational damage for those who assume this to be standard.
Earthy, flat, and noticeably aggregate— perhaps an excavation site in drinkable form— albeit with a deftly tuned sweetness level and otherwise palatable characteristics. It doesn’t take much to stand out in the ‘institutional’ market, but so far it’s a half step above the field.
Sucking the candy shell off of a single M&M would give you a much more intense chocolaty experience. It’s smooth, almost ‘slick’— and the uniquely sharp malt flavor is both arresting and distracting.
Identifiable as chocolate, but very much on the candy end of the spectrum. An almost fruity sweetness laces the cocoa and immediately frames the conversation “…well it’s not bad for a…” which of course translates to “it’s not good.” It’s potable, but mature palates beware.
Sweetness that would contort even the most stoic of faces. The cookies & cream flavor is decent, but this drinks like melted vanilla ice cream drowned in corn syrup and garnished with powdered sugar.
Super smooth but marked by an off-putting sweetness that entirely trumps the remainder of the drink. It crescendos in the latter half of the sip and ushers in a nearly tamarind-like sweetness that rings false.
Sweet and chalky with a somewhat reluctant cocoa flavor hiding behind a more vanilla-laced sweetness. It doesn’t feel ‘milky’— it doesn’t taste ‘chocolaty’— but it does taste familiar.
Nothing offensive, unless you’re aggrieved by an impossibly boring product that would be upstaged by an unsalted pretzel. Fortunately it’s not over-sweet, which is appreciated, but every other meaningful flavor category is underrepresented here as well.
Sweet with a syrupy quality to both the flavor and texture— though it also tends to wash out quicker than expected. Cocoa is largely absent and there’s no real depth to the flavor— it reminds me of sugar water.
Thicker and starchier than expected, it tastes more like sweetened coffee than chocolate, and leaves you with a drying sensation in the mouth.
Extreme levels of cocoa flavor and sweetness— which doesn’t make for a well-balanced drink. It’s way too much, particularly the sweetness, especially without a cream or salt to help keep it in check. This has lots of flavor, and for fans of the uber-sweet— this could be your deal. As for me, I’m going to brush my teeth straight away.
The texture feels unnatural, congruent with the spotty, not-super-well-mixed appearance. There’s also a strong sourness that steals away any remaining attention not usurped by the texture concerns. I’ve certainly had worse, but this is a rather unfortunate UHT port of the ‘fresh’ version.
Decently milky, pleasantly sweet, and not harsh on the eyes— but there’s something askew. The flavor is a departure from what most would consider ‘chocolate’— and there's a twang to the back end of each sip that reminded me ever so slightly of barbecue sauce.
