All tagged 3.5

Schneider's Chocolate Lowfat Milk

Nothing offensive, unless you’re aggrieved by an impossibly boring product that would be upstaged by an unsalted pretzel. Fortunately it’s not over-sweet, which is appreciated, but every other meaningful flavor category is underrepresented here as well.

Ildong Foodis & Up Cafe Choco Latte

Extreme levels of cocoa flavor and sweetness— which doesn’t make for a well-balanced drink. It’s way too much, particularly the sweetness, especially without a cream or salt to help keep it in check. This has lots of flavor, and for fans of the uber-sweet— this could be your deal. As for me, I’m going to brush my teeth straight away.

Vita Chocolate Milk (UHT)

The texture feels unnatural, congruent with the spotty, not-super-well-mixed appearance. There’s also a strong sourness that steals away any remaining attention not usurped by the texture concerns. I’ve certainly had worse, but this is a rather unfortunate UHT port of the ‘fresh’ version.

Mill-King CaCow Milk

Thin, grassy, and prominently acidic. The flavor immediately retreats to the center-rear of your tongue, and the sharp acidity makes the mouth water, more in defense than anticipation. One of the more unique chocolate milks I’ve had, both in terms of flavor and ingredients.

Purple Cow Lowfat Chocolate Milk

Pleasantly smooth but the flavor is a bit of a mystery. There’s very limited cocoa presence, and the sweetness has an almost fruity quality that will make you take a second look at the label in search of ‘artificial sweeteners.’ There aren’t any, but it tastes like there are.

Shamrock Farms Rockin' Protein Builder Chocolate

Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.

Neilson Trutaste Lactose Free Chocolate Milk

Rather powdery in a way that becomes more egregious once the liquid portion washes away. You're left with a virtual sand dune in your mouth that eventually grips your uvula, causing spontaneous (but manageable) glottal mucous production. The flavor is much less offensive and doesn’t rely too heavily on sweetness.