Excellently thin, smooth, creamy, and darkish chocolaty. There’s a hint of chalk on the back end, but it still finishes predictably and competently. The best of the Cocio portfolio I’ve had yet (6 of them).
Arla Kids Kakao Minimaelk Drik
I don’t want to make light of child abuse, but please don’t feed this to your kids. I understand that there’s 50% less sugar, and that ‘taste’ is not the primary objective here, but it should have at least been considered.
Coop Kakao Maelkedrik
Gorgeous rich brown color that has a powdery chocolate flavor and a bit of a murky feel. The taste reminds me of a poor man’s Spar Kakao, which is probably higher praise than I should dole out.
Coop Kakao Skummetmaelk
Strong fake-banana flavor that permeates the experience. Knowing that this is likely not the intention, it just comes across as ‘funky’— not in a good way.
Matilde Kakao Milkshake
Like drinking gravy, without the ‘meat’ part of course. It’s super thick, but not due to a high cream quotient-- it’s just way over emulsified, I think to emulate richness. I don't have an issue with the flavor, but the texture feels so contrived that it’s difficult to isolate the two. If you fancy eating chocolate milk with a spoon, this could be your calling.
Matilde Okologisk
Not as sour as the original, but still chalky and also somehow watery. I think the flavor is different (spray paint?) than the original— not sure it’s better, and the texture seems confused.
Lille Lise Kakao
Sweet, thin, and exceptionally uninteresting.
Barebells Chocolate Flavor Milkshake
No added sugar, plenty of protein, and actually not tasteless or terribly offensive. The texture feels dense (a slight departure from ‘milky’) but the artificial sweeteners do their job well and the package is not only potable, but preferable (from a taste standpoint) to many others in the ‘recovery’ market.
7-Eleven Kakao Maelk
Mild mineral/metallic taste to it that is difficult to ignore— as there’s not much else contributing meaningfully to the flavor.
Matilde Sport Kakao
Extremely chalky, but better flavor than the other Matilde products. Still, the chalkiness dries out your mouth and leaves you in an uncomfortable state.
Matilde Mini Kakao Laktosfri
The most prominent flavor here is ‘regret.’ Fifty percent less sugar may be too ambitious— there’s zero sweetness, zero creaminess, no salt, minimal sour cocoa flavor, all wrapped up in a nasty dark gray liquid that, in retrospect, looks much more appetizing that what is delivered. Eschew.
Matilde Original Kakao
Sour and earthy, with a decent slab of chalk mixed in. Leaves a drying sensation to the mouth that makes you want to drink more— more of something else though.
MS Iceland Dairies Koko Mjolk
Very thin, smooth, fair-complected, and bland. It’s quickly drinkable and far from offensive, but definitely won’t set anyone’s world afire.
Byrne Dairy Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Not overly chocolaty but smooth, creamy, and malty for a lowfat chocolate milk. The salt is at least as prominent as the sweetness which maintains a drinkable balance that comes off as genuine.
Byrne Dairy Chocolate Milk (236mL carton)
No chocolate whatsoever, and a modest sourness that lands in the back of the throat. It’s sort of creamy, but honestly tastes too much like its container.
Byrne Dairy Chocolate Milk (1.89L glass)
Ahh.. Has that same salt/malt combination that I had come to expect from Byrne Dairy— it’s outstanding. The chocolate piece is subtle, but you’re unlikely to care much as everything else is great. Reminiscent of Heidi in Switzerland, which is high praise.
TruMoo High Protein Cookies n' Cream Lowfat Milk
A highly salty and slightly cardboard-y take on the cookies-n-cream flavor (it compares poorly to the Hershey’s versions). The sweetness and cream help the drinkability considerably, but it’s far inferior to its chocolate counterpart.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake Light
Mildly metallic aftertaste that dissipates quickly, but the chalkiness is slower to vanish. From a flavor standpoint, it’s under sweetened an under salted; not recommended for recreational consumption.
Galliker's Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Sweetish start, and relatively watery conclusion to each sip. It neither stands above nor dips below ‘average’ in any major way.
McDonald's Milk Jug Fat Free Chocolate Milk
Watery with a powdery chocolate taste and feel. It’s identifiable as chocolate milk— that might be the most positive thing I can say about it. At least it is a relatively sensible option as far as chocolate milk goes. Ok, so that’s 2 positive things.