Quite possibly the finest chocolate mint milk extant. It arrives with a flavorful density, yet lightens immediately in the mouth as though it knows exactly where to go and how to navigate to its destination— leaving you with a satisfying minty coolness from gums to gullet. Alliteration was never my strong point.
Wow— this flavor profile (chocolate, chili pepper, cinnamon) may not be for everyone (self included), but it’s executed remarkably well here, particularly the slightly delayed heat from the pepper that comes in at the perfect time and strength. The cinnamon is not overpowering, and the chocolate is present throughout. A marvel of modern engineering, and if you think you might like this, it’s a no-brainer.
A bit shockingly salty upfront, but you quickly warm to it with further sips. The flavor is intensely salted caramel, not as much chocolate, and it tastes like you think it should. The texture is a bit more concerning, as it skews more syrupy than milky.
The same, signature Fairlife twang plugged into a more clotted base. The sweetness is distractingly unnatural and significantly hampers the experience. I get that the nutrition stats are attractive (low sugar, high protein) and it serves that market well, but from a flavor standpoint, it doesn’t quite do whole milk justice.
I’m reminded of a late-season corn crib— as the flavor has a strong fermented grain quality. Each swallow fades clumsily into a starchy roux, causing you to question what, why, and how. And ultimately, who.
Painfully sweet with a stevia sledgehammer that blasts you early and refuses to leave. Everything else feels irrelevant by comparison, and none of it strong enough to recoup the damage done by the sweetness. Approaching undrinkable.
A poor meld of flavors, marked particularly by its paucity of salt— which throws things further out of balance and foists more attention on the dusty cocoa flavor and untrue sweetness. There is some pleasant congruence, however, between the taste (bad) and the aesthetics (bad).
Identifiable as chocolate, but very much on the candy end of the spectrum. An almost fruity sweetness laces the cocoa and immediately frames the conversation “…well it’s not bad for a…” which of course translates to “it’s not good.” It’s potable, but mature palates beware.
Sweet, chalky, and candied chocolate taste— differs from real chocolate milk in the way that a fudgesicle differs from ice cream. It’s definitely not light on flavor, just feels overly sweet and artificial.
A strong, stationery-esque taste has unfortunately leeched from the carton, distracting from its originally intended flavor. Texture-wise, it’s full and smoothly pleasant, and the sweetness is thankfully in check.
There’s a substantial heft to the body, which delivers an abundance of cocoa flavor and an indulgently creamy undertone that sustains the flavor until you’re ready for the next draw. In short: dense, chocolaty, and delicious.
Salty, chocolaty, chalky, creamy— in that order— and a very pleasant overall experience. The salt definitely helps to preempt any would-be aftertaste undesirables, making each sip flow seamlessly to the next. Until there's no more.
A strapping meathook of buttery cream grabs you by the scruff of the neck and takes you on an adventure you won’t soon forget. It’s wilder than average, saltier than sweet, uniquely fascinating, and entirely delicious! I drank the whole pint before writing a single word (luckily I had 2 bottles)- so it effectively rendered me in a listless stupor— albeit slightly more alert than my default state. Touché.
Initially sweet with a (thankfully) fleeting earthiness to the cocoa flavor. Not bad for a skim version, but in the grand scheme of the chocolate milk universe, not good.
A nostril-flaring, nipple-hardening cocoa experience you will neither match nor forget; a must-have for any fan of chocolate, milk, or the luxurious confluence thereof. From bouquet to delicious cocoa nibs, to the mature aftertaste that satisfies yet beseeches the next sip: this will buzz you beyond the limits your morning french press. Outstanding.
The vanilla extract is definitely prominent, rivaling the cocoa flavor— which makes this a unique, if not slightly hollow chocolate milk experience.
Sweet, watery, and paper-thin in texture and flavor, albeit there’s no overt funkiness— a relatively praiseworthy feat for nonfat chocolate milks. I still can’t imagine a world where the slight amelioration of dietary impact is worth the wholesale forfeit of drinking enjoyment.
Well-balanced and highly drinkable chocolate milk that is congruent with its classy duo-tone old style carton. Don’t expect trendy flavors or textures here, just straight-up chocolate milk like you remember from your childhood.
Whole chocolate milk doesn’t need to take chances to be delicious. It’s slightly (and pleasantly) under-sweet, affording the chocolate flavor more of the limelight.
It probably won’t stab you to death in the shower. That’s the only positive thing I can say about it. You won’t question the ‘no sugar added’ claim on the front, but you may ponder how many brushings it will take to erase the flavor from your mouth, and how much bleach you’ll have to huff to dull the memory.
